Many are lured by the prospect of making quick money in stock markets. Especially so when the Indian Stock Markets are witnessing unbridled growth. Those who are standing at the sidelines are tempted to jump in and those who are already invested wish they had more money to invest.
However despite the bulls reigning, the SEBI has been warning investors that 9 out of 10 folks are losing money in the stock market. Looking at this one investor was in dilemma of whether to invest, it is a good time to invest now when the markets are already high. However on the other hand there was a feeling of FOMO so he asked a veteran investor, “When is a good time to buy?”
The veteran replied, “You’re looking in the wrong place for a good time. The stock market is a place of regret. You buy, and the price falls; you sell and it rises. You cry over losses and lament selling too early on profits. When the market rises, you regret not buying and wait for a drop, but when it falls, fear keeps you from buying. Instead of waiting for the right moment, it’s better to enjoy life and the rollercoaster ride in stock markets.
This is one of my favourite poems which I also used to motivate myself during my college days. This poem was written by Walter D Wintle in early 1900s but is a timeless classic and continues to be relevant irrespective of time. I had this poem printed on a A4 sheet of paper and pasted on the wall above my study table. This served as a constant reminder to myself to exercise my will power and positive thinking and never to give up in the face of hardships.
I urge you to read each line slowly, absorb it and if you can believe in these words, you can achieve any goal you put your sight on.
If you think you are beaten, you are If you think you dare not, you don’t, If you like to win, but you think you can’t It is almost certain you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost For out of the world we find, Success begins with a fellow’s will It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are You’ve got to think high to rise, You’ve got to be sure of yourself before You can ever win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go To the stronger or faster man, But soon or late the man who wins Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN! – Walter D Wintle
“Finding yourself” is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right there, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions, and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. “finding yourself”is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you.” ― Emily McDowell
How true ! I came across this amazing quote by the author Emily McDowell recently and it instantly resonated with me. Many life situations and faces of people from the past flashed across my mind in a jiffy.
As I grew up I realised that I took the lessons taught in fourth grade Moral Science too seriously. In my teenage years, for several years I used to see the world as black or white i.e either someone was good or bad. It took me time to realize and accept that in the real world, between the absolute black and the white there were varying shades of grey and that did not make a person bad. In fact we all have our own flaws and that should not make us villains. As much as the value system is important in building our character, it is also prudent that as we grow up we calibrate these values to thrive in the contemporary world. While some values are non-negotiable, others can be bend to provide some wriggle room.
In the world around us, we have largely seen the ill effects of social conditioning. Very few parents understand the power of conditioning on a young mind and fewer still know how to use it effectively to raise an individual with high self esteem and good self-image. We all struggle to put together the pieces of our broken self-image to construct a whole self. In the process we unlearn the inaccurate conclusions we drew about ourselves and our capabilities. At times it takes a good friend or mentor to help us in this process. Nevertheless, it is a journey of self discovery and essential in finding our true self.
What kind of experiences can you remember that you attribute to social conditioning in your own life?
No human in this world is untouched by grief or disappointment. Both grief and disappointment can be the source of a huge emotional turbulence. And surprisingly when people are dealing with change either at the personal level or at the work place they may also feel similar emotional turbulence.
There may be many instances of grief throughout our life – a wife may grieve the death of her husband, a teenager may grieve the ending of a relationship, or one may grieve the loss of a pet. Similarly one can feel a deep sense of disappointment when their trust is shattered. Even significant events in personal life or at workplace may have a similar impact when people are unable to cope up with the change. For example a mother who is unable to accept the departure of her child when he or she leaves home for the first time for higher studies or employees unable to handle role change due to organisational restructuring or merger/acquisition.
In 1969, a Swiss psychiatrist, Kübler-Ross first introduced her five stage grief model in her book On Death and Dying. These five stages are –
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Kubler-Ross wrote that these are normal reactions all people have to tragic news. In fact she called them defense mechanisms or coping mechanisms. And this is exactly what they are when we apply the model to coping with change.
Also she said that we don’t move through these five stages one at a time, in a neat, linear, step by step manner. That would be far too easy! What happens is that we occupy different stages at different times and can even move back to stages we have been in before. Kubler-Ross said the stages can last for different periods of time and will replace each other or exist at times side by side.
Learning about these five stages can help us understand our own emotions and help us in coping with them in a better manner. It would be ideal, if we can reach the “acceptance” stage. However it is possible that some people get stuck in other stages and find it difficult to move on.
The Five Stages of Grief
Denial : When you first hear about the tragic news, denial or shock is usually the initial reaction. “I can’t believe it”, “This can’t be happening”, “Tell me this is not true” This is also a defence mechanism that gives us time to absorb the news before moving on to the other stages. It is the initial stage of numbness and shock. It is like the pigeon closing its eyes when it sees the cat. That way, It assumes that since the pigeon can’t see the cat, the cat does not exist.
Anger : When the initial shock fades away and we realize that it is real then the denial usually changes to anger. We look to blame others, God or even the government for making it happen to you. You find it incomprehensible how something like this could happen to you. “Why me? ” Life’s not fair!” Mental health professionals believe that anger is a necessary stage of grief – it is part of the healing process. It’s important to truly feel the anger. The more you truly feel the anger, the more quickly it will dissipate, and the more quickly you will heal. It is not healthy to suppress your feelings of anger.
Bargaining : It is an attempt to postpone the inevitable. Usually, you try to strike a deal with God. You might falsely make yourself believe that you can avoid the grief through this type of negotiation. If you change this, I’ll change that. In this stage people also experience guilt and go into an endless series of “what ifs”: What if I had left the house 5 minutes sooner? The accident would have never happened. What if I encouraged him to go to the doctor six months ago like I first thought? The cancer could have been found sooner “
Depression : When we realize that Bargaining is not going to work then the true impact of the change, the loss hits us. It can lead people to a sad state, feeling low energy, worthless and feeling depressed. Some people may even experience suicidal thoughts. the state of depression can be noticeable in the body language of the person, drooping shoulders, withdrawn from the team – thinking “What is the point of all this?“
People dealing with change at work may feel demotivated and uncertain about their future. They may feel why they need to give their best when they see that the Organization is not committed towards them. During this time there may be increase in sick leaves or absentism from work.
Acceptance : In this stage people start coming back to grip with reality. They realize that denying or fighting the change is not going to make the change go away. It is not a happy place but they finally accept that the world has changed and they need to move on too. People realize that thier partner may not return but life must go on. They realize that things are not going to be same at the workplace, It’s not a “good” thing, but it’s something you can move forward from. For the first time people might start considering their options. This can be a creative space as it forces people to explore and look for new possibilities.
In this stage, you may start making new friends or setting new goals. You know that the change is here to stay but you move, grow, and evolve into your new reality.
Take a look at the picture above. Doesn’t it look a bit strange? What do you see? A fox is trying to catch a prey however in doing do it does not realize that it has leapt off a cliff.
What is the correlation of this picture with our own lives? Do we take such irrational steps in our life too when we are obsessed with something. In the madness of pursuing the obsession, sometimes we may commit fatal mistakes.
There are three key lessons to be learned from the picture above. And once you have read the lessons below this picture will get imprinted in your memory forever and remind you of these lessons so that you can avoid making such fatal mistakes.
Lesson 1 :Sometimes the best response to provocation is not to fight at all.
Lesson 2 : Not all opportunities are to be taken, some are traps
Lesson 3 :A person can become so determined to destroy another person that they become blind to thier own actions and consequences and end up destroying themselves
Have you come across any such examples in your own life or those around you?
Remember the time when you had a number of dreams? Every other day you would come up with a new idea which according to you would change the world. While some people call it “flight of fantasy” or “day dreaming” but for you, probably that was one of the most beautiful part of growing up. It may be not an exaggeration, if I said that these thoughts gave us “wings” and took us on the “flight of imagination”. And even today, when nostalgia knocks softly, you open the door to those memories. The twinkle in your eyes and the smile on your face whisper, “Ah! Those were the days!”
Similar to the growing up years, later too in life, every once in a while a new desire pops up in your creative mind. For a few moments this new idea serves an escape from the mundane, the daily grind. However, almost immediately we tell ourselves, we are now “grown-up” and “mature” and need to be “practical” – the flight gets stalled just as it is about to take off. You know that with your current constraints, you cannot chase this any further. The idea disappears in a jiffy.
There are a very few who are able to pursue their passion and bring their dreams to reality. Their stories become beacons, illuminating the path for others.
In solitude and quiet moments, most people see flashes of their dream life, but by then they have lost the courage to even acknowledge them as possible. Also after battling the myriad battles of life, most people have lost their capacity to take risk. Instead they prefer the comfort of the mundane. They laugh at their own dreams and call them wishful thinking.
Then as their own kids grow up their unfulfilled dreams get rekindled. They see a ray of hope. They unknowingly start considering their kids as the vehicle thru which they can achieve their own unfulfilled dreams. However it is better to return to sanity before it is too late. One must not impose their own dreams on the kids. It is better to allow the kids to explore their own interest and only ask clarifying questions to help them choose the right path for themselves.
So, did I pursue my dreams? Perhaps not all of them. But I’ve learned that dreams aren’t lost completely — they evolve. They weave themselves into the fabric of our lives, coloring our choices, our passions, and in someway creating our legacy. And sometimes, when the wind is just right, I catch a glimpse of those paper airplanes, soaring still, leaving trails of possibility in their wake.
This is an excerpt from “Living with a Purpose: The Importance of ‘Real Intent.”, Randall L. RiddThis story teaches us about the power of real intent – the real desire to do a job well.
There was a young man who had ambitions to work for a company because it paid very well and was very prestigious. He prepared his résumé and had several interviews. Eventually, he was given an entry-level position. Then he turned his ambition to his next goal—a supervisor position that would afford him even greater prestige and more pay. So he completed the tasks he was given. He came in early some mornings and stayed late so the boss would see him putting in long hours.
After five years a supervisor position became available. But, to the young man’s great dismay, another employee, who had only worked for the company for six months, was given the promotion. The young man was very angry, and he went to his boss and demanded an explanation.
The wise boss said, “Before I answer your questions, would you do a favor for me?”
“Yes, sure,” said the employee.
“Would you go to the store and buy some oranges? My wife needs them.”
The young man agreed and went to the store. When he returned, the boss asked, “What kind of oranges did you buy?”
“I don’t know,” the young man answered. “You just said to buy oranges, and these are oranges. Here they are.”
“How much did they cost?” the boss asked.
“Well, I’m not sure,” was the reply. “You gave me $30. Here is your receipt, and here is your change.”
“Thank you,” said the boss. “Now, please have a seat and pay careful attention.”
Then the boss called in the employee who had received the promotion and asked him to do the same job. He readily agreed and went to the store.
When he returned, the boss asked, “What kind of oranges did you buy?”
“Well,” he replied, “the store had many varieties—there were navel oranges, Valencia oranges, blood oranges, tangerines, and many others, and I didn’t know which kind to buy. But I remembered you said your wife needed the oranges, so I called her. She said she was having a party and that she was going to make orange juice. So I asked the grocer which of all these oranges would make the best orange juice. He said the Valencia orange was full of very sweet juice, so that’s what I bought. I dropped them by your home on my way back to the office. Your wife was very pleased.”
“How much did they cost?” the boss asked.
“Well, that was another problem. I didn’t know how many to buy, so I once again called your wife and asked her how many guests she was expecting. She said 20. I asked the grocer how many oranges would be needed to make juice for 20 people, and it was a lot. So, I asked the grocer if he could give me a quantity discount, and he did! These oranges normally cost 75 cents each, but I paid only 50 cents. Here is your change and the receipt.”
The boss smiled and said, “Thank you; you may go.”
He looked over at the young man who had been watching. The young man stood up, slumped his shoulders and said, “I see what you mean,” as he walked out of the office.
What was the difference between these two young men? They were both asked to buy oranges, and they did. You might say that one went the extra mile, or one was more efficient, or one paid more attention to detail. But the most important difference had to do with real intent rather than just going through the motions.
If you have the right intent and do your job with passion it surely will take you places. That is why it is often said that a work of quality is not produced by accident. There is a lot of effort behind it and above all there is an intent for excellence.
The number of books sold in 2023 surpassed that of 2022. And similar numbers were reported for 2022, where more books were sold compared to 2021. These numbers point that an increasing number of people are being drawn to reading books every year despite the other digital distractions and an ever busier life.
However, not all books sold are read. Unfortunately, this statistic is not widely reported. In a survey conducted by Gallup they found that the average number of books read is going down every year. People buy a lot of books but most people are unable to read them for a plethora of reasons. I’m sure all of us have a bunch of unread books at home which we bought with great hope but unable to find time to turn those pages.
If you are also sailing in the same boat and miss reading books, here is a simple workaround you can try till you get the control back on your reading time. I have been using this for the last couple of years and have found this to be an effective alternative. Yes ! I am asking you to switch to audiobooks. These are great alternatives to physical books or Kindle if you are unable to find time to read.
There are various great apps available for both IOS & Android. Also an increasing amount of books are now available in audiobooks format. I primarily use Audible. I use my commute time to listen to audiobooks and have managed to finish 6 audiobooks in 2023. In comparison i could only finish 2 short books in the physical book format. It goes without saying that switching to audiobooks has reduced the amount of music I listen to by almost 80% but as it is said life is all about the choices you make.
Sharing my book recommendations from the books I have read in 2023 – please do share your book recommendations.
How to create a learning organization? This probably is the question on the minds of many leaders and founders who are immensely passionate about building great teams and building great organisations.
Peter Senge, provides a model to solving this problem in his widely read book The Fifth Discipline. He describes a concept called “Systems Thinking“. According to Senge, systems thinking is very important in creating a learning organization however as the title of his book goes – it is the fifth discipline not the first. The first four disciplines are (1) personal mastery, (2) building shared vision, (3) mental models, and (4) team learning. The 5th discipline is very important as it fuses the other four together to foster a culture of learning and co-operation.
People frequently ask if systems thinking is same as strategic thinking. Systems thinking and strategic thinking are somewhat similar concepts however they are applied in different situations. Both involve looking at the big picture and taking a long term view
Systems thinking
Focus: Looks at the system as a whole, including interactions and relationships
Goal: Considers if the system can work differently
Use: Can be used in design thinking to understand the user
Strategic thinking
Focus: Makes decisions to achieve specific outcomes
Goal: Identifies the gap between where you are and where you want to be
Use: Can be used to explore the context of long-range goals
Learning organisations may encounter various challenges or obstacles which Senge refers to as learning “disabilities”. He goes on to describe what these disabilities are and how companies can rid of the learning “disabilities” aka detrimental habits or mindsets, that threaten their productivity and success. He also elaborates on how organisations can grow by modelling the strategies of learning organizations – ones in which new and expansive patterns of thinking are nurtured, collective aspiration is set free, and people are continually learning how to create the results they truly desire.
Senge states that “At its core, learning organizations build great teams – the trust, the relationships, the acceptance, the synergy, and the results that they achieve.” You can look around for yourself and see that unless there is trust within the teams, there can be no synergy and team members will not sacrifice personal goals to work towards a common goal – the success of the organization.
The startups that thrive today can vouch that their teams have “a strong ability to learn, adjust and change in response to new realities.” that is the only way to thrive and grow as per Dr. Senge in the fast changing complex world that we live in.
The distinguishing characteristics of a learning organization include a learning culture, a spirit of flexibility and experimentation, people orientation, continuous system-level learning, knowledge generation and sharing, and critical, systemic thinking.
It is worthwhile to read more about Senge’s 11 laws of Systems Thinking. These will help you to understand business systems and to identify behaviors for addressing complex business problems. In brief the 11 Laws are –
Today’s problems come from yesterday’s solutions
The harder you push, the harder the system pushes back
Behaviour grows better before it grows worse
The easy way out usually leads back in
The cure can be worse than the disease
Faster is slower.
Cause & effect are not closely related in time & space.
Small changes can produce big results, but areas of the highest leverage are often least obvious.
You can have your cake & eat it too but not all at once. Not either/or. allow time for solutions to work.
Dividing an elephant in half does not product two small elephants
