Tag: Wisdom

Posted in Life Gyan

Three Beautiful Stories

Posted on by Anand Surana

Storytelling is the most powerful way
to put ideas into the world.

– Robert McKee

From time immemorial stories have always fascinated mankind. And story-tellers have used various means to convey their message viz. narration, theatre, cinema or by writing. Some people tell stories to entertain and make you laugh. Some to impart life lessons. Yet others use this as a medium to touch upon difficult topics of social importance. And some tell stories to hide the truth.

No matter what the medium is, or what the end goal is, the job is said to be well done if you are able to convey your ideas in the most impactful manner to your audience.

Now there are few other type of stories. Those that leave you with a question to ponder or provide you some food for thought. They make you revisit the assumptions that you had always believed in your life. They do not just fade away after you have turned the page – they stay in your psyche for a long time. Some can even alter the way you perceive and live life. Today I am going to share three such stories with you which did just that for me.

The stories are itself simple but the life lessons they hold are really valuable. I urge you to go through each story one by one and reflect on the lesson rather than rushing through this post. Once you have gone thru them, pause and reflect. And if possible do share your thoughts in the comments section below.

So which story did you find the most impactful?

Posted in Life Gyan

The Professor and the Golf Balls

Posted on by Anand Surana

“The most important things in life are not things” – sometimes we get so obsessed with our material possessions that we forget to give importance to the people in our lives. At other times we are busy chasing other shiny objects and completely lose focus of the important things of life. The below story is a simple way to understand this and remember to prioritise the important things in life.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.  The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.  The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes’.  The professor then produced two large cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.  The sand is everything else—the small stuff.  ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.  Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.  Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.  Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’  The coffee just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.

Posted in Life Gyan

30 Short but Impactful Habits

Posted on by Anand Surana

1. Write things down – our brains are for having ideas, not holding them.

2. Take a second to pause before you respond. Become less reactive.

3. Read something every day. Even just one page.

4. Write something every day. Even just one paragraph.

5. Automate and batch as much as you can. Our brains have more room to be creative when they’re not constantly making decisions.

6. Get some sun on your skin as early as you can in the day.

7. When your brain hurts. Stop working. Take a quick break to disconnect and recharge.

8. Limit your to-do list to the top 3 most important tasks of the day.

9. Write down anything that resonates with you.

10. Break down goals into the smallest steps possible

11. Value your time above all else.

12. Find hobbies that engage your mind and soul – do them as often as you can.

13. Place your phone outside the room while you’re working.

14. Track everything you do for one day to the minute. Find where the time-sinks are.

15. Stop comparing you behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.

16. Be bored more often. Our minds get the best ideas when they are allowed to wander.

17. Listen more than you speak.

18. Create more than you consume.

19. Compliment more than you complain.

20. Delete apps you don’t use.

21. Donate clothes you don’t wear.

22. Serve others as much as you can. This is a powerful source of happiness

23. Make a habit of reaching out to old friends.

24. Never say “yes” simply because you feel obligated.

25. Take care of your information diet – Junk info hurts our brains like junk food hurts our bodies.

26. Look at your phone less, look at people’s eyes more.

27. Revisit things that have brought you joy in the past. They will probably do it again.

28. Set time limits on tasks. Use “Parkinson’s Law” in your favor.

29. Remember people’s names and use them often.

30. Remember you’re going to die one day.

Posted in Life Gyan

Six Ways to Expand Your Horizon

Posted on by Anand Surana

Here are six ways to expand your horizon and to have a broader world view.  Each of the below listed items will help you push the boundaries associated with a different aspect of your life. As a result you will become a more fearless and confident person. Over a period of time, it will enhance your wisdom and give you a broader perspective of the world.

(1) Travel to new places – Travelling is one of the best way to expand your horizons in many aspects simultaneously.  By travelling I mean visiting a new place preferably outside your own state/country – a new region which has different culture, different staple food and different clothing. There is no dearth of options in India as we are known for unity in diversity. You can go to any state and experience the diversity. Once you travel be sure to observe how the people and customs are same or different from your home state. Relish the local food, interact with local people. This will help you get a very different perspective not only of life in general but even of the assumptions and beliefs you have held mentally so far.

(2) Learn a new skill – Learning a new skill like swimming, accounting or coding can be a great experience. It adds a new dimension to your personality. It provides another channel to express your creativity. Learning a new skill will help you come up with new ideas which you were not capable of thinking because you lacked this knowledge. It also opens up new possibilities for you to explore.

(3) Read books – First of all reading itself is a rewarding experience. Even though you may think – who reads books these days and lot of people adopting kindle and other digital means of reading but the data suggests that more books are sold each year. According to the website Books of Brilliance The country that reads the most books is India! They led every country on the map with an average of 10 hours and 42 minutes. That is enough to finish a book and start a new one in the same week! So incase you are not already in to reading, go pick a book if you do not want to be left behind. And if you already love reading try reading books from a different genre that would certainly open your mind to a whole new domain.

(4) Try different cuisines – Don’t be afraid to try a different cuisine once in a while. Next time when planning to go out, choose a cuisine or food item which you have never tried earlier like Sushi or Gelato or anything else that catches your fancy. The idea is to subject your senses to experience something different from what they are used to.

(5) Pick up a new hobby – Trying out a new hobby can be really fun and refreshing at the same time. Pick up something you have never done earlier. There are so many new hobbies that you can explore like starting a Bullet Journal or drawing Zentangles if you are the creative kind. You can try hydroponic farming or Origami. or even blogging. There is no dearth of new and novelty hobbies these days. Also the availability of so much information online and even online/offline classes makes it easy to pick and explore new things.

(6) Live in different geographical region/country – If possible relocate to a different geographical region or country and stay there for at least an year to experience the whole cycle of seasons, customs and festivals of that area. It will change your assumptions and boost your empathy to a different level. It will help you be sensitive to the thoughts and feeling of others especially when you are dealing with a diverse group of people.

This is just the start. You can apply this to any area of your life for example if you usually practice yoga you could try zumba, if you do kick boxing you can try pranayama or meditation. It is all about moving out of your comfort zone and embracing change. Whenever you do any new activity which is outside of the usual or routine, in some way or the other it will expand your current limits.

Be curious. That is the key. Never stop learning. To learn anything new, your cup needs to be half empty. And to be able to learn continuously, you should be able to expand the size of your cup so that there is always space to accommodate more and absorb new knowledge.

Posted in Life Gyan

Don’t Confuse Lifestyle with Life !

Posted on by Anand Surana

I came across this story a few years ago and the lesson has stayed with me over the years. A few days ago something reminded me of this story and I decided to share this with everyone for the sheer simplicity and the powerful message it carries.

A group of alumni, who were very successful in their careers, decided to get together to visit their old university professor. After they all reunited, the conversation of the alumni soon turned into complaints about work, relationships and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all of his old students had a cup of coffee in hand, they sat down together and the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is, of course normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that can also be the source of much of your dissatisfaction, problems and stress.

It’s important to know that the cup itself adds no real quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just chosen because its perceived to be more special or expensive. What all of you really wanted was experience of the coffee, not the cup, but you unconsciously went for the best cups. Some of you tried to get the best cup first or began eyeing each other’s cups to see if yours was nice enough.

Now consider this: Life is a bit like the cup of coffee; the jobs, money possessions and position in society are the cups. They are just tools and structures that contain or hold together the current story of your life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee.

Here is my advice to you – Savour the coffee, not the cups! What you really want is to be happy. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

Posted in Life Gyan

20 Things People Learn Too Late

Posted on by Anand Surana

1. Don’t tell people more than they need to know, respect your privacy.

2. Every challenge, hard time, and pain you endure will turn into strength, resilience and blessings.

3. Don’t argue with people who want to misunderstand you – Starve them with silence.

4. Life is short, don’t forget to make a life and not just a living.

5. You don’t need to explain yourself or get anyone’s approval to live your life.

6. Keep your standards high and  don’t settle for something because it’s available.

7. Boundaries are your responsibility, you decide what is and what isn’t allowed in your life.

8. You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.

9. Never expect to get back what you give or you will always be disappointed.

10. Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from and don’t let someone who has done nothing, tell you how to do anything.

11. If you keep waiting for the “right time” you will keep wasting all of your time.

12. Don’t let people trigger you. Control your reaction and leave them powerless.

13. Stop expecting loyalty from people who can’t give you honesty.

14. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be.

15. Life doesn’t always give us the experiences we want, it gives us the experiences we need to learn and grow.

16. The best revenge is no revenge. Improve yourself and forget they exist.

17. The people who belong in your life want to be there, they don’t need to be chased.

18. It takes time to build trust but only seconds to lose.

19. No one is going to come and save you because You are perfectly capable of Saving Yourself.

20. Don’t judge people and their choices when you don’t understand their reasons.

Posted in Life Gyan

Mindful Consumption

Posted on by Anand Surana

While we enjoy the good things in life, we also need to keep in mind that not everyone is equally fortunate and there are lots of people who struggle to make their ends meet. There is still a huge section of population on earth who do not have access to basic facilities like clean drinking water, education, proper health care, electricity etc.

While we do things that are within our power to make things better for these people either directly or by joining hands with some NGO there is one thing that we all can do right away – cultivating an attitude of mindful consumption. Mindful consumption means using the earth’s finite resources in a responsible manner, reduce consumption where possible, eliminate wastage and reduce your carbon footprint.

To make it easy here are a few examples to get you started.

1. Do I really need the water that is being poured in my glass at the restaurant?

Will that water not go down the drain (literally) when I leave my table? Am I being fair to those who are walking miles for drinking water and yet what they get is hardly safe enough to consume?

2. Do I really need to wrap that gift by buying ‘free’ gift wrapping paper?

Because that shiny/ non-biodegradable paper is going to be trashed (literally) once the gift is opened?

3. Do I really need to buy gifts when I am not sure if they will be used and needed by the receiver because I want to look good?

Isn’t it wiser to buy fruits or dry-fruits with the same amount of money and with almost certainty that they will be consumed?

4. What do I do when I am at buffet?

Do I listen to my stomach or do I fill my plate with everything available (either because its free or because I have paid for it all)?

5. What do I do when the guy at Subway (the foodchain) offers me two forks and four tissue papers when I am going to be eating alone?

Do I return one fork and three tissue papers (or all four, if I carry my own hanky) to him or I just walk away from the counter and throw away unused forks and tissue papers?

6. Just because something is ‘bio-degradable’, should I use it?

Can I even avoid a paper bag or a cloth bag because a tree was chopped to make that paper and earth was subjected to atrocities to create the piece of cloth? Can I ‘reduce’ my consumption even before thinking of ‘reuse’ or ‘recycle’?

7. What happens when I go to eat Thaali ?

There are so many things I know I might not eat (for eg katori of Dahi or that mithai) .. Do I return it immediately so that it can be offered to someone else or do I let it sit on my plate and leave it untouched only to be thrown away later?

8. Do I really need that cotton Kurti because it looks cool?

The fashion industry is far more evil than what meets our eye. From what it does to the environment while growing cotton and jute to how it treats humans to how it treats textiles and garment waste is mind-bogglingly dirty.

9. Do I really need that extra pair of shoes because I don’t have ‘that’ particular shade of orange?

Do I take into account that once processed, footwear is almost impossible to degenerate on face of the earth (including leather)?

10. Do I need to cook elaborate meals when guests visit me?

Can I cook just enough so that everybody including myself can have a great time and no food is wasted (or we don’t continue to eat same food for next three days well after it has lost all its nutrients)

11. Do I need to buy things just because they are in sale and they are cheaper?

Do I need to buy them because there is ‘return policy’? I was reading a case study on how big retail conglomerates dump returned goods in the ocean and its unbelievable how our oceans are constantly being subjected to waste created because of our greed.

12. Am I respectful when I am visiting a tourist destination?

Do I take rules such as ‘keep silence’, ‘do not litter’ seriously enough?
Do I allow the place to consume me or my overbearing presence consumes the place?

13. Do I switch off the appliances not in use – extra lights, fans, AC units, hot water geysers etc?

We switch off many appliances using the remote but leave the power switch on for long duration such as TV and AC units. Even in the switched off state they consume miniscule amount of electricity which adds up to a considerable amount in the long run. Let’s be mindful of that and switch it off from the power source.

I urge you to start asking these questions to yourself and educate your family members too. It takes a huge amount of energy and other earth’s resources to prepare the finished goods that we are consuming so mindlessly day-in and day-out.

Each aware person can make a difference ! Spread the awareness !

Posted in Life Gyan

Unspoken Social Rules

Posted on by Anand Surana

According to the Dr. Saul McLeod , who has been teaching psychology for over 17 years, “Social rules or norms are the unwritten rules of beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that are considered acceptable in a particular social group or culture. Norms provide us with an expected idea of how to behave…For example, we expect students to arrive to a lesson on time and complete their work.”

Social norms have existed from the time humans first started to live together in small. And the the norms evolve as the humans evolved into more sophisticated communities and societies. And it may be interesting to notice that the norms vary depending on geographies, social status, religious beliefs and so on. However, there is another side of the coin too. We also observe that there are many such unspoken social rules which are commonly accepted by a large majority of the people across the globe barring exceptions.

Time also plays a key role in influencing the social norms. If you look back in time, you will notice, many social behaviours which are common now were actually taboo a few years ago. So here is a list of a few contemporary social norms which you may find useful –

1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;

2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person from whom you borrowed remembers or asks for it. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and books.

3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you a lunch/dinner.

4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don’t you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;

5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;

6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;

7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what’s 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, second opinion is good for an alternative;

8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;

9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again;

10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.

11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately;

12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;

13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;

14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctors’ appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay”. Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness;

15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;

16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;

17. Never give advice until you’re asked;

18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;

19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it;

20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. More so, eye contact is as important as your speech; and

21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.

And last but not the least, APPRECIATION and GRATITUDE remain the easiest way of getting what you don’t have….

Posted in Life Gyan

Maturity

Posted on by Anand Surana

Maturity is when you stop trying to change people, and instead focus on changing yourself.
Maturity is when you accept people for who they are.
Maturity is when you understand that everyone is right in their own perspective.

Maturity is when you learn to “let go”.
Maturity is when you are able to drop “expectations” from a relationship and give for the sake of giving.
Maturity is when you understand that whatever you do, you do for your own peace.

Maturity is when you stop proving to the world how intelligent you are.
Maturity is when you focus on positives in people.
Maturity is when you do not seek approval from others.
Maturity is when you stop comparing yourself with others.

Maturity is when you are at peace with yourself.
Maturity is when you can differentiate between “need” and “want, and you can you can let go of your wants.
Maturity is when you stop attaching “happiness” to material things.

Posted in Life Gyan

I Have Learned…

Posted on by Anand Surana
  1. I have learned that no matter how good you are internally, people will judge you by your looks
  2. I have learned that your parents are your real treasure. But the sad part is that they won’t be with you forever
  3. I have learned that time is best healer
  4. I have learned that no matter what, the only person you can truly rely upon is yourself
  5. I have learned that attachment hurts
  6. I have learned that hard work pays
  7. i have learned that it is not what I have in life but who I have in my life that counts