Posted in Life Gyan

If You Think You Can…

This is one of my favourite poems which I also used to motivate myself during my college days. This poem was written by Walter D Wintle in early 1900s but is a timeless classic and continues to be relevant irrespective of time. I had this poem printed on a A4 sheet of paper and pasted on the wall above my study table. This served as a constant reminder to myself to exercise my will power and positive thinking and never to give up in the face of hardships.

I urge you to read each line slowly, absorb it and if you can believe in these words, you can achieve any goal you put your sight on.

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t,
If you like to win, but you think you can’t
It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!
– Walter D Wintle

Posted in Life Gyan

Finding Yourself

Finding yourself” is not really how it works.
You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket.
You are also not lost.
Your true self is right there,
buried under cultural conditioning,
other people’s opinions, and
inaccurate conclusions
you drew as a kid
that became your beliefs
about who you are.
“finding yourself”is actually
returning to yourself.
An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering
who you were before the world got
its hands on you.” ― Emily McDowell

How true !
I came across this amazing quote by the author Emily McDowell recently and it instantly resonated with me. Many life situations and faces of people from the past flashed across my mind in a jiffy.

As I grew up I realised that I took the lessons taught in fourth grade Moral Science too seriously. In my teenage years, for several years I used to see the world as black or white i.e either someone was good or bad. It took me time to realize and accept that in the real world, between the absolute black and the white there were varying shades of grey and that did not make a person bad. In fact we all have our own flaws and that should not make us villains. As much as the value system is important in building our character, it is also prudent that as we grow up we calibrate these values to thrive in the contemporary world. While some values are non-negotiable, others can be bend to provide some wriggle room.

In the world around us, we have largely seen the ill effects of social conditioning. Very few parents understand the power of conditioning on a young mind and fewer still know how to use it effectively to raise an individual with high self esteem and good self-image. We all struggle to put together the pieces of our broken self-image to construct a whole self. In the process we unlearn the inaccurate conclusions we drew about ourselves and our capabilities. At times it takes a good friend or mentor to help us in this process. Nevertheless, it is a journey of self discovery and essential in finding our true self.

What kind of experiences can you remember that you attribute to social conditioning in your own life?

Posted in Life Gyan

Each Day is Special !

Let me tell you a short story. 

A friend of mine opened his wife’s wardrobe and picked up a silk-paper-wrapped package:

“This, he said, “isn’t any ordinary package.”

He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

“She got this the first time we went to New York, 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, she was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it.”

He placed the gift box on the bed next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral home; his wife had just died.

He turned to me and said: “Never save something for a special occasion. Treat every day of your life as special”.

This story had a huge impact on me when I read it for the first time.  And since then I might have read it scores of times. What I find interesting about this simple yet impactful story is that it connects us with our mortality. Often, we save the best for the last. But we do not know how far into the future “the last” is. And those little joys that we could have experienced right now never get fulfilled waiting for those “special moments”. This story emphasises – Treat each day as “special”. Let us live our life to the fullest with what we have right now. Surprisingly, it also brings the focus back to the things that matter. It is a reminder to live your life in the present.

Obviously, I am not advocating to throw everything to the wind and just indulge yourself with a blatant disregard for prudence. We must make long term plans for the future and in the process we even consciously defer short-term gratification for those long term goals. However, we must remember that reaching the milestone or long term goal should not become a pre-condition for us to be happy. Life is lived in the present moment. It should be looked upon like a series of experiences to be lived and cherished, not to be survived through.

All I want to tell is that don’t postpone the simple joys of life. The quality of life that you are living today matters. Don’t confuse life with lifestyle. For example If you have the opportunity to spend a few hours with your friends, don’t defer it. Those moments are priceless. Another way to look at it is, if you feel like using your crystal glasses every day, do it. Don’t wait for a special occasion to take them out. Don’t save your special perfume for special occasions – use it whenever you want to. Dress well. Don’t always keep the best dresses in the wardrobe for the special days. If it gives you joy, wear them whenever you feel like it.

Enjoy the little things in life for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things. Try not to delay, postpone, or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives. As someone has aptly said, Life Is Not Measured By The Breaths You Take, But By The Moments That Take Your Breath Away.

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. Celebrate everyday.
Celebrate Life.

Posted in Life Gyan

Celebrate Life

Did you notice –
As soon as you die your identity becomes a “Body”. People use phrases like: “Bring the Body”, “Lower the Body in the Grave”, “Take the Body to the Grave yard”, etc…People Don’t Even call you by your Name, whom you tried to impress your whole Life….

  • Live a Life to Impress the Creator not the Creation.
  • Take chances..
  • Tell the truth…
  • Learn to say “NO”…
  • Listen to your Heart…
  • Spend money on the things you love…
  • Laugh till your stomach hurts…
  • Dance even if you are too bad at it…
  • Pose stupidly for photos…
  • Be child-like….

Moral –
Death is not the greatest loss in life…Loss is when life dies inside you while you are still alive…Celebrate this journey called LIFE… Enjoy life…

Posted in Life Gyan

When You Feel Lost…

These are unprecedented times and it is natural to feel a bit anxious and a little lost at times due to so much negativity all around. Most of us feel concerned about what the future holds, how it will unfold and will we even make it to the future safely. A lot of people are going through this emotional turmoil however it is important that we look at the current situation objectively and not get carried away by it.

I am sharing a few quotes for you to ponder – these will probably help you look at things differently and help you feel better in these difficult times –

  1. Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come.
  2. Sometimes the bad things that happen to us, lead us directly to the path that will give us the best things in life.
  3. If you don’t like where you are, move. You’re not a tree.
  4. You can’t start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one
  5. If it doesn’t open, it is not your door.
  6. Sometimes you need to step out, get some air and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be
  7. Sometimes you need to talk to a three year old so you can understand life again
  8. Listen and Silent are spelled with the same letters. Think about it.
  9. Sometimes, you have to stop thinking so much and just go where your heart takes you
  10. You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward
  11. Never stop believing because miracles happen everyday
Posted in Life Gyan

There is Always, Always, Always Something To Be Thankful For…

A famous writer was in his study room. He picked up his pen and started writing: **Last year, I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed. I had to stay stuck to the bed due to this surgery for a long time.
**The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my favourite job. I had spent 30 years of my life in this publishing company.
**The same year I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.
**And in the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in bed at hospital with the cast on for several days. The destruction of car was another loss.

At the end he wrote: Alas! It was such bad year!!

When the writer’s wife entered the room, she found her husband looking sad, lost in his thoughts. From behind his back she read what was written on the paper. She left the room silently and came back with another paper and placed it on the side of her husband’s writing.

When the writer saw the paper, he found this written on it:
**Last year, I finally got rid of my gall bladder for which I had spent years in pain.
**I turned 60 with sound health and got retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write something better with more focus and peace.
**The same year my father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone or without any critical condition, met his Creator.
**The same year, my son was blessed with a new life. My car was destroyed but my son stayed alive without getting any disability.

At the end she wrote:
This year was an immense blessing and it passed well!

See! The same incidents but different viewpoints. If we ponder with this viewpoint that what could have happened was more detrimental, we would truly become thankful.

Moral: In our daily lives, we must see that it’s not happiness that makes us grateful but gratefulness that makes us happy. There is always, always, always something to be thankful for!

Posted in Life Gyan

The Mirror of Life !

A person once approached his Guru and asked “My workers are not true to me. My children, wife and the entire world is very selfish. Nobody is truthful.”

Guru looked at him and smiled. He said, “Let me tell you a story.”

There was once a village which had a room with 1000 mirrors. One small girl used to  go inside and play. Seeing thousands of children around her she was joyful.She would clap her hands and all the 1000 children would clap back. She considered this place as the world’s happiest place and visited often.

This same place was visited by a sad person. He saw around him thousands of sad and angry men. He got scared and raised his hands to hit them and in return 1000 hands lifted to hit him back. This is the worst place in the world he thought and left that place.

This world is also similar to the room with 1000 mirrors. What we let out of us is what the society gives  back to us. Keep your heart like a child and assume positive intent and good will come back to you in more ways than you thought possible.

Now here is a question for the reader – What are you seeing in your mirror? What are you learning about your inner self from this mirror?

Posted in Life Gyan

No One Can Hurt You Without Your Consent

On the first day as President…  Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, while just on the set, one man stood up. He was a rich Aristocrat…. 

He said, “Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family” And the whole Senate burst out laughing; for they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.

But Lincoln was a man of totally different mettle than them, as he just looked at the man, and said humbly, ” Sir, I know my father used to make shoes for you and your family, and there are many others here too I am sure, for whom he has made shoes….But I must say one thing, the way he made shoes….; nobody else could match. He was a genuine artisan; His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole heart and soul in it….and hence, I would like to humbly ask you sir….do you have any complaint? because I also know how to make shoes myself….and if you are in any way dissatisfied, I can make another pair for  you as a service for my late father. But as far as I know”, Lincoln added confidently, “nobody has ever complained about my father’s shoes. He was a real genius in his line of work, a great creator….and I must indeed thank you, for reminding me of him on this day, for I am very fondly proud of my father.”

The whole Senate was dumb struck. They could not understand, as to what kind of a man Abraham Lincoln was. The humility about himself and the pride for his father, through quality of his work…..to say that not a single complaint had ever been heard….he also defined his own character, as well as his personal mettle.

Moral of the story :
No one can hurt you without your consent.
It is not what happens to us, that hurts us.
It’s how we react to what happens, hurts…….if we allow it to…..!!!

Posted in Life Gyan

Assume Positive Intent

Once a person was traveling across the countryside in his car and unfortunately somewhere on the outskirts of a village his car get a flat Tyre. When he gets down to replace the tyre he realizes that he forgot the jack in his own garage. He gets very upset at his own stupidity and kicks the flat tyre in disappointment. He looks around for help but there is no one to be seen. He looks around once more pondering at the alternatives when he notices a car parked in the courtyard of one of the houses in the distance across the fields. He chuckled at the sight of the car and decides to ask the owner of the car, probably a farmer, if he could borrow his jack. 

So he starts walking towards the farmer’s house. While walking he starts to mentally prepare his narration that he would tell the farmer which would convince him to lend the jack in the easiest and quickest possible manner. He thinks if I say this the farmer may respond like this and then this is what I am going to tell him. If he offers me tea/coffee I am going to say this and so on. During his mental dialogues he also thinks what if the farmer makes an excuse and refuses to lend the jack. Then he prepares his reasons to convince the farmer but what if the farmer does not relent – he tries harder but what if the farmer does not trust strangers. 

The dialogues in his head continue to get more and more intense as he keeps walking towards the farmer’s house. By the time he knocks on the farmer’s door he is completely agitated and enraged with the arguments going on in his head. And the moment the farmer opens the door the person is so angry that he punches the farmer…

This story may not be very different from what we too face in our day to day lives. Wherever the favorable outcome of a situation is extremely important to us, our emotions get attached to the outcome.  Doubt, anxiety and negative thoughts then start creeping into our mind. And the mental conversations begins. As these situations play out in our head, we start looking suspiciously at all the other characters in the play as if everyone has just one motto – how to jeopardize the outcome we desire so badly. Just like the person with the flat tyre in the story, we start mixing our mental conversations with the real world interactions and start “punching” (read behaving rudely, sulking, stop responding, deliberately avoid helping, using sarcastic language) the various characters who are none other than our family members, friends and colleagues. 

To prevent ourselves from getting trapped into such behaviors and to make our own lives and that of others around us blissful, here is a simple, powerful and very effective concept. All you need to do is to repeat this phrase to yourself whenever you are faced with doubt, anxiety or negative thoughts about a person or a situation and your faith starts to falter.

ASSUME POSITIVE INTENT

The beauty of this simple thought is that it applies equally well to all situations whether you are at home, at work or with friends. Whenever you are tempted to think negatively of a situation or the person causing it – pause a moment and remember the phrase “Assume Positive Intent“. These three simple words will direct your mind to look at the same situation by assuming positive intentions of the people involved. Rather than looking at the negative reasons for someone’s behavior you start to think of positive intentions behind people’s behavior. By doing this you are willing to give the benefit of doubt to your friends or family, even if it is for that moment. 

The moment you change your point of view, everything related to it changes, including how you respond to it. It takes the stress out of the entire event and preserves the health of your relationship as you start visualizing people having positive intentions towards you. By adopting a positive view, you not only make your life stress free but also start influencing the others around you with your positive attitude. 

Once you start practicing this in your day to day interactions, you will be tempted to take a print out of these three words and stick it to your desk. These simple words, if practiced consistently can take the heartburn out of so many situations and save many relationships from going stale.