Author: Anand Surana

I am a software consultant by profession and reside in Hyderabad, India. I love to travel, listen to music, cook and make friends.
Posted in Life Gyan

14 Nuggets of Wisdom for Those Over 40

Posted on by Anand Surana

Forty (40) is a strange number when referred in context to age. While for some “Life begins at forty” whereas for some forty is a psychological milestone, a alarm bell of sorts to get your act together, a reminder of our mortality and probably for the most of us, a realization that we are at the halfway mark on the journey called life. 

Sharing some nuggets of wisdom that may help if you are over 40 –

  1. After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my friends, now I have started loving myself.
  2. I just realised that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.
  3. I now stopped bargaining with vegetables and fruits vendors.  After all, a few rupees more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.
  4. I pay the taxi driver without waiting for the change. The extra money might bring a smile on his face. After all he is toiling much harder for a living than me
  5. I stopped telling the elderly that they’ve already narrated that story many times. After all, the story makes them walk down the memory lane and relieve the past.
  6. I’ve learnt not to correct people even when I know they are wrong.  After all, the onus of making everyone perfect is not on me.  Peace is more precious than perfection.
  7. I give compliments freely and generously. After all it’s a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me.
  8. I’ve learnt not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt.  After all, personality speaks louder than appearances.  
  9. I walk away from people who don’t value me. After all, they might not know my worth, but I do.
  10. I remain cool when someone plays dirty politics to outrun me in the rat race.  After all, I am not a rat and neither am I in any race.
  11. I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. After all, it’s my emotions that make me human.
  12. I have learnt that its better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. After all, my ego will keep me aloof whereas with relationships I will never be alone.
  13. I’ve learnt to live each day as if it’s the last. After all, it might be the last.
  14. I am doing what makes me happy.  After all, I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to me…..
Posted in Fun & Humour

Letter From My 3 Months Old Son to My Sister

Posted on by Anand Surana

Dear Bhua,
Hope you and Phumphosa are keeping good health and enjoying your life in Delhi I am fine here and having a good time with papa and mummy.
You will be happy to know that I have grown a little taller but haven’t let myself become fat like papa-mummy. You know I always want to be in shape. Don’t mind but I will not like to be as fat as you.

I have made some new friends all around the house. In papa-mummy’s bedroom where I spend most of my time, I have made so many friends. On the eastern wall there is a baby playing in roses. Oh yes ! I had to change the pen because the other one was giving problems. Nowadays they don’t make things of good quality it seems. I guess the scenario is worse in Delhi – How do you manage?

Anyway I was telling you about my friends. There is another one, a nice baby, so much like me, lying on the weighing scale. Then the musical stuff toy which you gifted me has also become my good friend. He often sings to me and I like it very much.

But most favourite of my best friends is the ceiling fan. I can watch it for hours and he keeps me engaged whether he is moving or still. I talk to him loudly and then papa-mummy feel so happy. I guess they also like my friends.

In the drawing room there is a boy in dhoti which my Dada has sent. He taught me to suck my two fingers so whenever I am hungry I start sucking my fingers. My parents have a tough time removing my hand from my mouth but I enjoy it a lot so I just ignore them and continue sucking my fingers. 

Yes, the ceiling fan of the hall is also my good friend. Sometimes I watch TV when I am in the hall but the moment my parents come to know that I am watching TV they either put me at some other place or switch off the TV. 

Let me tell you something very interesting I am very fond of playing at night, where is my parents want to sleep at night but since I am awake either one or both of them have to be awake with me. They scold me everyday for staying up so late but the moment I smile at them they forget all scoldings and hug me. 

I have started saying “mum…mee” and whenever I say so mummy become so happy. She wants me to say again and again but then I know how to keep my importance so I also do not say it again. I am telling you all this in good faith you should not share all this with my parents. 
One day papa mummy took a lot of snaps of me and send it to all the family members but the next day Dada called up and scolded papa. Since then he has not dared to take another snap.

I love both papa and mummy. While mummy takes good care of me whole day and at night also because papa sleeps saying he has to go to office next day – I wonder what is so exciting at office that he goes there everyday – even on weekends. 

Papa also loves to spend time with me. I generally wake up when he returns from office and then I give him the opportunity to spend time with me. 

Nowadays the weather is very pleasant and it rains every day. I want to enjoy the weather but my parents force me to wear warm clothes and always have the blanket on. But the moment they put the blanket I throw it away with my legs. 

That was a lot about me you tell me about yourself. Hope you are taking good care of Phumphosa. I am waiting for your Rakhi and papa-mummy also. They have got a gift cheque for you (lucky you !) but had to take it in Phumphosa’s name as you might not be having account in your married name. 

Ok now I want to sleep and I am feeling a little hungry also and I can see mummy coming to feed me. So bye and keep writing.

Lots and lots of love,
Dhruv

Posted in Life Gyan

After Death of Husband

Posted on by Anand Surana

Coping up with death of a close family member is itself a mammoth task – the emotional stress, the vacuum and coming to terms with the new reality. Because life goes on, irrespective of everything that is happening. And whether you like it or not the people who are left behind have to deal with it – even with the unfinished tasks of the one who has departed. Sharing one such experience of a woman after she lost her husband at an early age and it has important lessons for all of us.

“Few things I learnt after my husband’s death:- We always believe we will live forever. Bad things always happen to others. Only when things hit us bang on your head you realise… Life is so unpredictable…. My husband was an IT guy, All technical. And I am a chartered accountant. Awesome combination you may think.

Techie guy so everything is on his laptop. His to do list. His e-bill and his bank statements in his email. He even maintained a folder which said IMPWDS wherein he stored all login id and passwords for all his online accounts. And even his laptop had a password. Techie guy so all the passwords were alpha-numeric with a special character not an easy one to crack. Office policy said passwords needed to be changed every 30 days. So every time I accessed his laptop I would realize it’s a new password again. I would simply opt for asking him ‘What’s the latest password instead of taking the strain to memorize it.

You may think me being a Chartered Accountant would means everything is documented and filed properly. Alas many of my chartered accountant friends would agree that the precision we follow with our office documents and papers do not flow in to day to day home life. At office you have be epitome of Reliability / Competent / Diligent etc but. At home front there is always a tomorrow.

One fine morning my hubby expired in a bike accident on his way home from office.. He was just 33. His laptop with all his data crashed. Everything on his hard disk wiped off. No folder of IMPWDS to refer back to. His mobile with all the numbers on it was smashed. But that was just the beginning. I realised I had lot to learn.

Nine years married to one of the best human beings with no kids just the two of us to fall back on but now I stood all alone and lost. Being chartered accountant helped in more ways than one but it was not enough. I needed help. His saving bank accounts, his salary bank accounts had no nominee. On his insurance his mom was the nominee and it was almost 2 years back she had expired. But this was just a start. I didn’t know the password to his email account where all his e-bill came. I didn’t know which expenses he paid by standing instructions.

His office front too was not easy. His department had changed recently. I didn’t know his reporting boss name to start with when had he last claimed his shift allowance, his mobile reimbursement.

The house we bought with all the excitement on a loan thought with our joint salary we could afford the EMI. When the home loans guys suggested insurance on the loan, we decided the instead of paying the premium the difference in the EMI on account of the insurance could be used pay towards pre-payment of the loan and get the tenure down. We never thought what we would do if we have to live on a single salary. So now there was huge EMI to look into.

I realised I was in for a long haul.

Road accident case. So everywhere I needed a Death certificate, FIR report, Post Mortem report. For everything there were forms running into pages indemnity bonds, notary, surety to stand up for you. No objections certificates from your co-heirs.

I learnt other than your house, your land, Your car, your bike are also your property. So what if you are the joint owner of the flat you don’t become the owner just because your hubby is no more. So what if your hubby expired in the bike accident and you are the nominee but if the bike is in a repairable condition, you have to get the bike transferred in your name to claim the insurance. And that was again not easy. The bike or car cannot be transferred in your name without going through a set of legal documents. Getting a Succession Certificate is another battle all together.

Then came the time you realise now you have to start changing all the bills, assets in your name. Your gas connection, electricity meter, your own house, your car, your investments and all sundries. And then change all the nominations where your own investments are concerned. And again a start of a new set of paperwork.

To say I was shaken my whole life had just turned upside down was an understatement. You realise you don’t have time to morn and grieve for the person with whom you spend the best years of your life. Because you are busy sorting all the paper work.

I realised then how much I took life for granted. I thought being a chartered accountant I am undergoing so many difficulties, what would have happened to someone who was house maker who wouldn’t understand this legal hotchpotch.

A sweet friend then told me dear this was not an end, you have no kids, your assets will be for all who stand to claim. After my hubby’s sudden death. I realised it was time I took life more seriously. I now needed to make a Will. I would have laughed if a few months back if he had asked me to make one. But now life had taken a twist.

Lessons learnt this hard way were meant to be shared. After all why should the people whom we love the most suffer after we are no more. Sorting some paperwork before we go will at least ease some of their grief.
1. Check all your nominations… It’s a usual practice to put a name (i.e in the first place if you have mentioned it) and royally forget about it. Most of us have named our parent as a nominee for investments, bank accounts opened before marriage. We have not changed the same even years after they are no longer there with us. Even your salary account usually has no nomination.. Kindly check all your Nominations. – Bank Accounts – Fixed Deposits, NSC – Bank Lockers – Demat Accounts – Insurance (Life, Bike or Car or Property) – Investments – PF Pension Forms

2. Passwords.. We have passwords for practically everything. Email accounts, Bank accounts, even for the laptop you use. What happens when your next in kin cannot access any of these simply because they do not know your password… Put it down on a paper.

3. Investments. Every year for tax purpose we do investments. Do we maintain an excel sheet about it. If so is it on the same laptop of which the password you had not shared. Where are those physical investments hard copy.

4. Will. Make a Will. I know you will smile even I would had I not gone through all what I did. It would have made my life lot easier a lot less paperwork. I wouldn’t had to provide an indemnity bond, get it notarised, ask surety to stand up, no objections certificates from others…

5. Liabilities. When you take a loan say for your house or car. Check out on all the what if, what if I am not there tomorrow, what if I lose my job. Will the EMI still be within my range. If not get an insurance on the loan. The people left behind will not have to worry on something as basic as their own house.

My battles have just begun… But let us at least try and make few changes so that our loved ones would not suffer after we go. We do not know what will happen in the future. But as the Scout motto goes: Be prepared “

With our current ways, most people live in nuclear families and we hardly have anyone to fall back on in case of a misfortune. There are a few things we can do immediately –
(a) Get organised – Document the details of all your bank accounts, investments, assets and liabilities. Keep it updated. And once in six months print out the details and keep the hard copy at home.
(b) Educate your spouse about the investments, assets and liabilities at least once in a year or whenever there is a major update or change – especially if she is not used to the paperwork.

It is very important that we proactively spend time on this personal and financial management on a regular basis to minimise the challenges of our loved ones once we are not around.

Posted in Books

Life’s Little Instructions

Posted on by Anand Surana

“Life’s Little Instructions”  –  This is the title of one of my favourite books. This book was originally written by H. Jackson Brown. The Complete Life’s Little Instruction Book contains the 1,560 entries found in all three volumes of the New York Times Bestselling Life’s Little Instruction Book series.

This book like other books does not contain a story or a lot of text. It is a collection of one or two line sentences which originally were written as a gift from a father to a son, however its simplicity and practical advice is so appealing that it has been enjoyed by men and women of all ages. Even the lines on the cover page after the title reads…

Suggestions, Observations and Reminders on
How to Live a Happy and Rewarding Life.

My Story

I love reading and I first read this book during my college days. I was so inspired by its simplicity and relevance that I decided to gift one copy of this book to each of my friends as a parting gift towards the end of college. Though you may agree that it was a good idea but I was in college and had limited resources. I did not have enough money to buy a copy each for my friends.

To say that inspite of this shortcoming I was still determined would be an understatement. I wanted to share this treasure with my near and dear ones so badly that I decided to reproduce the whole text…manually.

I realised that it was not possible to write so many copies with hand so the other option would be to get it done on a computer. I am taking about the year 1998 in India and not many people would own a computer like today. I did not have one too.

But to my good fortune, one of my close friends Suyog Hebbar, who was pursuing Computer Science Engineering, had a desktop. And the icing on the cake was that he shared the apartment with me. So I discussed this idea with him and used his computer to key in the contents patiently. Slowly over a period of few days I was able to complete the typing, designed the cover page and saved it to a floppy disk for printing.

In those days mostly everyone used the dot-matrix printers. However I wanted a better print quality. So I decided to get one printed from the printing shop. I knew that Inkjet printing was very costly those days and as students we had limited funds for our monthly expenses. So all I could afford was one copy. Using this as the master copy I got multiple other copies xeroxed (photostat) and got them spiral bound and then gifted a copy to many of my friends with the hope that the gift would be valued not for its cost or beauty but for the content and underlying effort and feelings.

One such copy I also gave to my sister and she recently shared the cover page of the same with me which I am reproducing below.

After reading all this with patience you might be wondering what really is inside the covers of the book. So let me share a few of my favourite “Life Little Instructions” below. As you read these, pause for a moment before you move on to the next one.

Compliment three people every day.

Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

Remember other people’s birthdays.

Have a firm handshake.

Life is short.
Eat more pancakes and fewer rice cakes.

Sing in the shower.

Use the good silver.

Buy great books, even if you never read them.

Say “thank you” a lot.

Say “please” a lot.

Plant flowers every spring.

Be the first to say “hello.

Live beneath your means.

Drive inexpensive cars,
but own the best house you can afford.

Be forgiving of  yourself and others.

Learn the rules.
Then Break Some.

Learn three clean jokes.

Wear polished shoes.

Ask for a raise when you feel you’ve earned it.

If in a fight,
hit first and hit hard.

Return all the things you borrow.

Teach some kind of class.

Be a student in some kind of class.

Plant a tree on your birthday.

Make new friends
but cherish the old ones.

Keep secrets.

Take lots of snapshots. 

Never give up on anyone.
Miracles happen everyday.

Don’t waste time learning the “tricks of the trade.”
Instead, learn the trade.

Surprise loved ones with little unexpected gifts.

Stop blaming others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.

Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you.

Use your wit to amuse, not abuse.

Be brave. Even if  you’re not, pretend to be.
No one can tell the difference.

Demand excellence and be willing to pay for it.

Don’t take good health for granted.

Someone will always be looking at you as an example of how to behave. Don’t disappoint.

Write “thank you” notes promptly.

If you haven’t read this book already, I strongly recommend you to try it. If you have read it long ago, you may gain some new insights by reviewing it again. Happy reading !

The chief beauty about time is that you cannot waste it in advance.The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you, as perfect,as unspoiled, as if you had never wasted or misapplied a single moment in all your life. You can turn over a new leaf every hour if you choose. – Arnold Bennett

Beauty of Time

Quote• Posted on by Anand Surana
Posted in Fun & Humour

Fun With English

Posted on by Anand Surana

A lot has been spoken about the English Language. Sometimes it could be funny and at other times it can simply intrigue you. For example, you might have already heard about the sentence “A quick brown fox jumps right over the lazy dog” which contains all the letters of the English alphabet.

Similarly, there is something interesting about the below sentence –

I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications and incomprehensibleness.

Now here is the interesting part. This is a sentence where the Nth word is N letters long. e.g. 3rd word is 3 Letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on.!!!!! See it once again below –

I
do
not
know
where
family
doctors
acquired
illegibly
perplexing
handwriting
nevertheless,
extraordinary
pharmaceutical
intellectuality,
counterbalancingin
decipherability,
transcendentalizes
intercommunications and
incomprehensibleness.

Isn’t this interesting?

Posted in Life Gyan

Build Relationships, Not Just Contacts

Posted on by Anand Surana

In the material world where we focus on goals like financial growth, better health, professional growth and success, let’s also add one for our relationships.

The year was 1990.  I was returning from Delhi by flight with a monk of the RamaKrishna Mission. A  journalist from Chile was there with us . He started interviewing  the monk, as had been decided earlier.

Journalist – Dear Sir , in your last lecture, you  told about Jogajog (contact) &  Sanjog (connection ). It’s really confusing. Can you explain it to me ?

The Monk smiled a little but apparently deviating from the question,  he asked the journalist: Are you from Chile ?

Journalist( J ) – Yeh…

Monk ( M ) – Who are there at home ?

The Journalist felt that the  Monk was trying to avoid answering his question since  this was a very personal and unwarranted question. Yet the  journalist  said: “Mother has expired. Father is there. Three brothers and one sister. All are married…”

The Monk, a smile on his  face, asked next: – “Do you talk to your father?” Now the  journalist looked visibly annoyed…

The Monk  – “When did you talk to him last?”

The journalist suppressing his annoyance said:  “May be a month back.”

The Monk:  “Do you brothers and sisters meet often ? When did you last meet as a family together?”

At this point, I saw  sweat on the journalist’s  fore head. I wondered who was taking whose interview. It seemed that the Monk was taking the interview of the journalist.

With a sigh , the journalist said: “We met last at Christmas two  years ago.”

The Monk: ” How many days did you all stay together ?”

The journalist ( wiping the sweat on his brow) : “Three days…”

Monk: “How much time did you  spend with your Father, sitting right  beside him ?”

I saw the journalist looking  perplexed and embarrassed and scribbling something on a paper…

The Monk:  “Did you have breakfast or lunch or dinner together ? Did you ask how he was? Did you ask how his days are passing after your mother’s death ?”

I saw the journalist’s eyes sadden.

The Monk placed his hand on the journalist’s hand and said: “don’t be embrassed or upset or sad. I am sorry if I have hurt you unknowingly… But this is basically the answer to your question about “contact and connection ( jogajog and Sanjog)”.  You have ‘contact’  with your father but you don’t have ‘connection’ with him. You are not connected to him.

Connection is between heart and heart… sitting together , sharing meals , caring for & hugging each other. Touch , shaking hands, having eye contact,  spending some time together…Your  brothers and sisters have ‘contact’ with each  but you have no  ‘connection’ with each other….”

The journalist wiped his eyes and said : “Thanks for teaching me a fine and unforgettable lesson”

This is the reality today. Whether at home, in society and elsewhere everybody has lots and lots of contacts but there is no connection. No communication…   . Everybody is in a his or her own world.
Let’s not be well “contacted” – let’s be well “connected”,  with each other …… caring , sharing , touching , hugging , spending time together with all  our near and dear ones, and other co-passengers in our life travels.

Posted in Life Gyan

Change Your Attitude – to Change Your Life !

Posted on by Anand Surana

This post is slightly longer but it is immensely valuable and I assure you it is well worth you time. After reading the entire post you will thank yourself for taking the time to read it completely. 

Here is a summary of the book and key points “Attitude is Everything” by Jeff Keller.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind – William James.

Biography

Jeff was a lawyer who changed his profession to become a motivational speaker. The key was wanting to share the message of being able to transform one’s life through the power of thought.Never underestimate your power to change yourself (H. Jackson Brown Jr). It starts with a decision to have a better life – take a stand. 

The book is divided in 3 sections “Think….Speak….Act”.

“Think” – success starts in the mind. “Speak” – how your attitude is reflected and influenced by language, watch your words. “Act” – the need to act to create a new reality.

Part 1 : Success begins in the mind

Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success (Dr Joyce Brothers).

Lesson 1: Your attitude is your window on the world. 

Why at the same event, do some people see it as a disaster yet someone else at the same event sees it as great – different experiences as seeing the world through a different window (attitude). Attitude; difference of seeing the world as “I Can” versus “I Cannot”. Everyone starts with a clean mental window. As you grow, so the window gets splattered with dirt – smudged with criticism; soiled with disappointment; clouded by doubt. Dirt just keeps building up, the trouble is often the window is not cleaned – wash your window! It is your job to keep your window clean. It is a choice, look through a dirty window or through a clean window – and this choice has consequences. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes (Hugh Downs).

Success is applying various principles (which we look at later); however none of the principles can be activated without a clean window (positive attitude) – hence attitude is everything!

Lesson 2: You’re a human magnet

The secret is found in six words: We become what we think about Dominant thoughts rule the day. Nurture your mind with great thoughts (Benjamin Disraeli). The key is you are pulled in the direction of your DOMINANT thought pattern. Thought precedes action. Your beliefs have brought you to where you are and your circumstances reflect what you have been thinking about. If your thoughts don’t change, your results won’t change.

Repetition is the key. Everyday read something positive and uplifting. Everyday listen to a motivational cassette. Change your thinking and you change your life. Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations (Ralph Charell).
It will not happen overnight, just keep moving in a constant direction with effort, commitment and patience.

Lesson 3: Picture your way to success

You must first clearly see a thing in your mind before you can do it (Alex Morrison). Imagination is more important than knowledge (Albert Einstein). Visualisation is simply mental movies. Take responsibility for your own movies. Change the meaning of old movies. Facts cannot change, but you can change the interpretation/meaning of old movies. Consciously choose to view previous situations that made you feel smaller than you are, differently.Create new pictures, your mind is too stupid to know the difference. Picture your success; repetition. You have control over the pictures that occupy your mind. Relax and involve your senses. Do this several minutes everyday. Write a cheque to yourself. If you can dream it, you can do it (Walt Disney).

It works both ways. Keep negative thoughts or prompts away – what does the sticker do to you if you see it on your car several times everyday “I owe, I owe, so off to work I go”. Change the meaning of old movies and develop empowering new movies.

Lesson 4: Make a commitment and you’ll move mountains

This is the willingness to do whatever it takes. Read this again. If it takes 5 steps, then I’ll do it. If it takes 55 steps, I’ll do it….
The key is that often you do not have to know exactly how you will achieve your goal; just that you will commit to getting there – doors somehow open; trust life and commit. With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable (Sir Thomas Buxton). A champion is always prepared to go one more round. One person with commitment is worth more than 100 people who have only an interest (Mary Cowley). Always be prepared to do whatever it takes – if you are not, don’t start.

Lesson 5: Turn your problems into opportunities

Problems. Don’t complain and who said life is fair. Look for the opportunity in every problem. The road to success often travels through adversity. No pressure, no diamonds (Mary Case). Disappointments are often blessings in disguise. The things which hurt, instruct (Benjamin Franklin). Frustration creates energy, direct it.

How does adversity serve us? It gives us perspective on what is important in life; it teaches us to be grateful; it brings out hidden potential; teaches us valuable lessons; builds confidence and self-esteem when overcome; opens new doors. Most importantly it encourages us to make changes and take action!

Part 2 : Watch your words

Repeat anything often enough and it will start to become you (Tom Hopkins).

Lesson 6: Your words blaze a trail

Your words have incredible power.
Thoughts > Words > Beliefs > Actions > Results and a destiny

In words are seen the state of mind, character and disposition of the speaker (Plutarch). Watch your words! Never discuss your goals with negative people. Stating and discussing goals creates commitment and accountability. The people who always talk about lack of money generally don’t accumulate much of it. Watch the emotion and impact on your body by the actual words used eg difference between “furious/livid” and peeved/annoyed” – lowers the emotional intensity. Choose words that will point you in the direction of your goals. Look at words you use in relationships, in finances, in your career, your health or what you believe you are capable of or your station in life. You have a choice, choose your words carefully.

Lesson 7: How are you?

Your day goes the way the corners of your mouth turns. When someone says “how are you” the responses are generally negative (“don’t ask”), mediocre (“okay”) or positive (“awesome”). A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks . Everyone lights up a room – some when they walk in, and some when they walk out! Just form a new habit and change the way others, and you, feel about you. What if I don’t feel great – if you are tired and I tell you that you have won a million rand, all of a sudden you feel fantastic – fix your mental state! How are you? Respond with enthusiasm. AWESOME.

Lesson 8: Stop complaining

Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing (Lady Holland). Nobody wants to hear about your aches and pains. Self-pity is an acid which eats holes in happiness (Earl Nightingale). Two complainers often start to outdo each other, the principle of escalation. Don’t let it rain on your parade. The secret of happiness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles (William Penn). Put things in perspective. Create a mental list of all those things and relationships around you for which you have to be grateful. If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed (Kate Halverson). Be a source of positive news, be a joy to be around.

Part 3 : Heaven helps those who act 

Nothing happens by itself. It all will come your way once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions (Ben Stein).

Lesson 9: Associate with positive people
You will be known by, and your destiny influenced, by your friends. Avoid toxic people and keep the company of nourishing people. We become apart of what we are around. Your friends will stretch your vision…or choke your dreams. They impact your greatest asset, your mind. Tell me who you associate with and I will tell you who you are.

Lesson 10: Confront your fears and grow
Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain (Ralph Waldo Emerson). If you want to be successful, you must be willing to be uncomfortable. Don’t back away, confront. Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood (Marie Curie).

What is your “X” outside your comfort zone? Presentations or public speaking; your ideas or you being rejected; changing jobs; starting your own business; passing bad news up the line; talking to people at higher management levels; sales calls; fear of failure… When you do this you lower your self-esteem, reduce yourself inside, do not create breaks….He who loses wealth loses much; he who loses a friend loses more; but he who loses courage loses all (Miguel de Cervantes).

Armed with a great attitude, decide to become a participant in life and explore your potential, confront your fears. Reframe the situation. Consider yourself an immediate winner when you take the step to confront your fear. Move forward. The only way to escape from the prison of fear is action (Joe Tye). Don’t be one of those who lets his regrets take the place of his dreams.

Lesson 11: Get out there and fail

Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again (Henry Ford). Toddlers keep on trying until they walk, they just don’t stop until they do, yet somehow as adults we shy away from failure. Failure is often a necessary part of growth and ultimate success. Undaunted by failure, just as long as the mistakes are new ones. The greatest mistake a person can make is to be afraid of making one (Elbert Hubbard). No such thing as failures, just results. Never give up. True success often means you will fail along the way, accept it, get up and try again. You may be disappointed if you fail, but you will be doomed if you don’t try.

Lesson 12: Networking that gets results 

You can get everything in life you want if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want (Zig Ziglar). If you’re positive and enthusiastic, people will want to spend time with you. In business and in your personal life, network. Project a winning attitude, participate in projects and associations, serve others, be a good listener….call people from time to time just because you care. Meet new people, make them feel special, acknowledge good presentations, get them to talk about themselves and their interests. Think what you can do for others, life is round. Build you network and keep detailed notes and contact lists. Networking is a great help, yet you have to be good at what you do to succeed.

Conclusion 

To change your circumstances, first start thinking differently (Norman Vincent Peale). Take control of your life. Act as if it were impossible to fail (Dorothea Brande). Play the one string you do have, your attitude, and with a final quote from Charles Swindoll:

The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes.

Posted in Life Gyan

Silence Speaks Volumes

Posted on by Anand Surana

Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you just ran out of words and you go… silent… 

Let me assist you in recalling…

the moment when you left your home for the first time and you look back at your parents who are worried that their son/daughter are leaving them yet happy that their child took the first step towards independence.

the moment when the girl/boy you like most smiled back at you! You don’t say anything.. you just smile back..

the moment when you get better marks than you expected… those “numb” moments of ecstasy and surprise is that true?”

the moment when you are parting with your old friend(s) and the train has just started… and you are standing on the door of the wagon.. waving “bye-bye” with your heart beating fast…

the moment after the HR manager has just called you and told you,
“You are through! Congrats!”

the moment when you sit alone in your room after having told everyone that you cleared that exam you prepared for 6 months!!

You can go on remembering your “special” moments! I had always wondered why I never said anything to myself at those moments.. as if it was “understood”… happiness, joy, pain.. all feelings just flowed ceaselessly in the ‘years’ that passed in those flash moments!

They say.. the best way to communicate is through “silence”. Love. Joy. Grief. Surprise. Anger. Hope. Expectations. Support. Non-cooperation…

Can you imagine the importance of a silent moment in a song? – When Bryan Adams stops for a while along with music, before he goes on in his husky voice… Please forgive me. I cant stop loving you!

Ever had those moments when you thought you were tired enough that you reach for your bed after dinner.. but find yourself wide awake looking at the roof of your room silently…

But you sure are ‘thinking’… those moments of self-talk are the most important in our lives. Those moments when we listen to our own hearts! Those promises… those decisions… those are the moments when we make our destinies!

Next time you go silent… listen carefully to what your heart is saying.. listen to its joy…listen to its pain..listen to its fears.. listen to its desires..Dont make it shut up and go off to sleep… LISTEN TO THAT VOICE !

That voice alone can lead you to the abode of peace that your sleep lacks… peace that awaits you!

Be in touch with your true self… practice silence at least for a few minutes every day !