Maturity is when you stop trying to change people, and instead focus on changing yourself. Maturity is when you accept people for who they are. Maturity is when you understand that everyone is right in their own perspective.
Maturity is when you learn to “let go”. Maturity is when you are able to drop “expectations” from a relationship and give for the sake of giving. Maturity is when you understand that whatever you do, you do for your own peace.
Maturity is when you stop proving to the world how intelligent you are. Maturity is when you focus on positives in people. Maturity is when you do not seek approval from others. Maturity is when you stop comparing yourself with others.
Maturity is when you are at peace with yourself. Maturity is when you can differentiate between “need” and “want, and you can you can let go of your wants. Maturity is when you stop attaching “happiness” to material things.
Yes, that is a weird sounding title but let me explain in a jiffy… Try answering the below questions… 1. Name the 5 Wealthiest People in the world 2. Name the Last 5 winners of Ms. Universe 3. Name the Last 10 People Who the Nobel prize
How Did You Do?
The point is, none of us remembers the headlines of yesterday. Even though these people must be the best in their fields. Applause dies, awards are tarnished and achievements are forgotten!!
Here’s another quiz…Let’s see how this one goes:
1. Name 5 Teachers Who Added to Your Journey Through School 2. Name 5 Friends Who Helped You Thru Difficult Times 3. Name 5 People Who Taught You Something Worthwhile 4. Name 5 People Who Make You Feel Special 5. Name 5 People who You Enjoy Spending Time with
Easier…right?
The people who make a difference in your life are NOT the ones with most awards…Life is full of ordinary people who have made the world a better place for you!
Cherish them! Hold them tight! And Thank them for making a difference in your life. Perhaps sometimes its “special” to be ordinary!
Don’t compare yourself with others. Do not let it become the source of your misery. Someone else will always have a better pay, swankier car, bigger house and so on an so forth.
Don’t let your material possessions become your identity. Sometimes we attach too much importance to the car we drive, the house we own, where we go for holidays etc. We start equating material possessions with success. Often we start identifying our own value based on the quality and quantity of our material possessions and take great pleasure in flaunting them. And pretty soon this becomes a spiral – it feeds our ego and pushes us to acquire more and more material possessions. Owning and flaunting your wealth or pricey possessions may give you a temporary high but it isn’t sustainable and eventually results in the downfall of the person.
Be self aware when your decisions are driven by greed. Chances are that your common sense has left you and greed has overcome your thinking. You may overlook most of the risks in pursuit of that shiny object feeding your greed. You may get lucky once or twice but remember there are no shortcuts to success. Yes luck may play a role in your success but most of it is your hard work and perseverance.
Understand that money is important but is it not everything. There are things that money can’t buy such as your health, the strength of your character, the bonding and love of your family, true friends. That is why is has always been said –
When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.
Nurture hope and positivity. Be grateful for what you have in life. The more you are grateful for what you have, the more you will have to be grateful for.
A fall back is the go-to person(s) who we reach out to in times of confusion, chaos, dilemma or so to say..in our weaker times.
Life is full of ups and downs and even though we all have our own strengths, yet there are times in everyone’s life where we are faced with new challenges or some major life changing decisions where our mind is filled with self-doubt, confusion, sadness or ambiguities. During such times, we fall back on to our close friends or mentors who are our confidantes in the hope that they will understand our situation and may help clear the clouds from our thinking to enable us to choose wisely and take the right decision.
Thus it is very important to choose our fall backs wisely as they are the people who can have a big influence over the way we think and perceive the situation and the decisions we take at those times and can change the course/ direction of our lives.
Let us reflect on two important characters from Mahabharata – Duryodhan & Arjun.
Duryodhan was a person of very high intelligence, power, and knowledge. He had the knowledge about what is right and wrong, yet he couldn’t prevent himself from taking the wrong path and decisions. His fall back was his uncle Shakuni, who had vested interests of his own. He manipulated Duryodhan during his confused state by massaging his ego, and always blaming the other for the situation which was surrounding Duryodhan. Shakuni made Duryodhan dependent on him gradually for all important or smaller decisions.
However, Arjun’s fall back was Krishna who presented him with facts, higher truths of life and allowed Arjun to make his own choices and decisions. Krishna accepted and honed Arjun to be a brave leader. Krishna empowered him to make his own choices and be responsible for the choices he makes. Krishna never manipulated him. This enabled Arjun and rest of the Pandavas to choose their own path wisely and follow their Dharma.
Consider a drop of pure water falling from the sky. If it lands on flowers or leaves, it becomes a dew drop. If it falls on a hot surface, then it loses its identity and vanishes. If the same drop lands in an oyster, it gets converted into a pearl…
Reflect on who is your fallback? Does he or she massage your ego in those confused situations, or do they provide comfort and assurance and help you see the light within and choose your own path wisely. Our fallbacks might not necessarily be as extreme as Shakuni or Krishna but if we take a step back and reflect we can still gauge which ways they tend towards.
Also, reflect upon how you play your role as a fallback. When others fall back on you when they are confused, do you hold the space for them, or do you unconsciously get your own stories mixed up with theirs.
Do you assist the person see his own wisdom and see the truth or manipulate him/her to believe that they are the victim and the other person/situation is the perpetrator?
Do you meditate or contemplate the situation without judgments or you unconsciously get your vested interests fulfilled through the situation?
We all play fallbacks to other people in our lives, especially as a spouse, parent, child, sibling, friend, relative or colleague. Let us be mindful of our energies and emotions so that when someone comes to us in their turbulent times, we are able to empathise with them, yet stay neutral and help them reflect their true essence just as a true mirror would do.
Realise the role of your community, your companions, your friends and family and how they can influence the direction of your journey of life in a profound way.
Choose your fallbacks wisely and be an empathetic yet honest fallback to someone else.
According to psychologists, there are four types of intelligence: 1) Intelligence Quotient (IQ) 2) Emotional Quotient (EQ) 3) Social Quotient (SQ) 4) Adversity Quotient (AQ)
1. Intelligence Quotient (IQ): this is the measure of your comprehension ability, solve maths; memorize things and recall subject matters.
2. Emotional Quotient (EQ): this is the measure of your ability to maintain peace with others; keep to time; be responsible; be honest; respect boundaries; be humble, genuine and considerate.
3. Social Quotient (SQ): This is the measure of your ability to build a network of friends and maintain it over a long period of time.
People that have higher EQ and SQ tend to go farther in life than those with high IQ but low EQ and SQ. Most schools capitalize in improving IQ level while EQ and SQ are played down.
A man of high IQ can end up being employed by a man of high EQ and SQ even though he has an average IQ.
Your EQ represents your character; your SQ represents your charisma. Give in to habits that will improve these three Qs but more especially your EQ and SQ.
EQ and SQ make one manage better than the other.
It is advisable to teach children not only to have higher IQ , but also focus on having higher EQ and SQ.
Now let us look at AQ – a new paradigm, coined in 1997 by Stolz.
4. The Adversity Quotient (AQ): The measure of your ability to go through a rough patch in life and come out without losing your mind. AQ determines who will give up in face of troubles, who will abandon their families or may even consider suicide.
Parents please do endeavour to expose children to other areas of life than academic. They should adore manual work, sports and arts. Develop their EQ, SQ and AQ so that they become multifaceted human beings able to do things independently.
Finally, do not prepare the road for the children. Prepare the children for the road.
These are unprecedented times and it is natural to feel a bit anxious and a little lost at times due to so much negativity all around. Most of us feel concerned about what the future holds, how it will unfold and will we even make it to the future safely. A lot of people are going through this emotional turmoil however it is important that we look at the current situation objectively and not get carried away by it.
I am sharing a few quotes for you to ponder – these will probably help you look at things differently and help you feel better in these difficult times –
Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come.
Sometimes the bad things that happen to us, lead us directly to the path that will give us the best things in life.
If you don’t like where you are, move. You’re not a tree.
You can’t start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one
If it doesn’t open, it is not your door.
Sometimes you need to step out, get some air and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be
Sometimes you need to talk to a three year old so you can understand life again
Listen and Silent are spelled with the same letters. Think about it.
Sometimes, you have to stop thinking so much and just go where your heart takes you
You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward
Never stop believing because miracles happen everyday
These are the things that you may remember someday about the lockdown.
Today is Sunday, 3rd May, 2020.
We are at Day 40 of social isolation.
Anybody who is alive today has never seen anything of this scale ever in their lives.
Almost all big organisations have a Business Continuity Plan but none would have planned for a disruption of this scale
Schools, Colleges, Offices, Markets, Industries, Malls, Restaurants, Cinema halls are all closed
Flights, Trains, Buses, Uber, Ola are not operating
In many towns and cities all delivery services like Swiggy, Zomato, Big Basket are not permitted for fear of spreading the infection
All maids, drivers and house-help are not allowed into the homes or apartments
Only shops of essential items like groceries, medicine, vegetables etc are allowed to open for limited duration everyday.
All places of worship like Temples, Churches, Mosques are closed
Parks, beaches and other public places are not accessible to the public.
All sports events like Olympics, IPL etc have been cancelled or Postponed across the Globe
All religious and social gatherings have been banned.
Funerals related gatherings are limited to immediate cohabitants and max 15-20 persons and too with Police permission
Schools have been closed since mid March and most schools have started online classes on Zoom.
There are floor markings outside and inside the stores to maintain appropriate distance between people.
Only limited number of people are allowed to enter a shop and the rest have to form a queue outside. When one customer exists then one from the queue is allowed to enter the shop
Friendly social gatherings even with neighbours or friends are not happening. Most sane folks are maintaining discipline and social hygiene.
People are scheduling video calls to connect with friends and relatives
There is widespread fake news on social media
World-over there is shortage of masks, gloves, PPE kits and medical equipment like test kits, ventilators etc and most countries are having to buy it from China which miraculously has overcome this crisis and is back to business
People are wearing masks, most places now REQUIRE that you wear them to enter! People are even making their own masks for sale or donation to medical facilities!
Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, anti-bacterial wipes and anything Lysol or Clorox is in short supply and limited per person.
Every city has been divided into tiny zones & an instant fine is being issued for crossing the zone without a valid reason. (Transport workers, Essential services, etc)
IT companies have adopted a work-from-home approach and are able to run most of their operations remotely
Small businesses and daily wagers are hard hit. Government is trying to provide food and assistance to the daily wagers, poor and needy folks
Amidst all this the silver lining is that the pollution levels have come down drastically and nature is thriving.
There is hardly any noise pollution and we can hear the birds chirping again.
I have heard in news that the long standing Ozone layer holes have self healed
At least everyone is acknowledging that probably we humans had taken too many things for granted and the pace of life was accelerating with every passing day but now this pandemic has put brakes on that mad race and everything has come to a standstill forcing people to reflect on they actions and their consequences
Today the Lockdown 2.0 comes to completion and Lockdown 3.0 begins for next 2 weeks.
I am not sure what the future holds for us and how the “new normal” will evolve as we try to adapt to the changed circumstances and environment. However I hope people will remember at least a few lessons from this worldwide pandemic and will adopt a more responsible and deliberate lifestyle.
Remember life is precious & that nothing should be taken for granted. And above all let’s be grateful for where we are and what we have.
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was not happy at all. One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; Why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy?
The King asked the servant, ‘Why are you so happy?’ The man replied, ‘Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant. My family and I don’t need too much – just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies and your blessings.’
The king sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the story, the advisor said, ‘Your Majesty, the servant has not yet joined “The 99 Club”.’ ‘The 99 Club? And what is that?’ the King inquired. The advisor replied, ‘To truly know what The 99 Club is, just place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant’s doorstep.’
When the servant saw the bag, he let out a great shout of joy…so many gold coins. He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were only 99 coins. He wondered, ‘What could’ve happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!’
He looked everywhere, but that final coin was elusive. Finally he decided that he was going to work harder than ever to earn that 100th gold coin. From that day, the servant was a changed man. He was overworked, grumpy, and blamed his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. And he had stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. The advisor said, ‘Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club.’ He continued, ‘The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never content, because they’re always wanting that extra 1, saying to themselves: “Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life.”
We can be happy with very little in our lives, but the minute we’re given something bigger and better, we want more…and even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, as the price for our growing needs and desires. That’s “The 99 Club“…Zero Membership fee to enter, but you pay for it with your entire life !!!
Here are a few more (read my previous post on Bucket List here) experiences to add to your bucket list. Pick the ones that excite you –
1. Float in the Dead Sea 2. Sky Diving 3. Bungee Jumping 4. Visit the Nalanda University 5. Whitewater Rafting 6. Visit the Ram Setu 7. See the floating stones in Rameshwaram 8. Take a yatch ride in Dubai Creek 9. Walk on the Great Wall of China 10. Visit the Taj Mahal 11. Click the iconic pic in Maladives 12. Hot air balloon ride in Cappadocia 13. Take the Maid of the Mist ride at Niagara Falls 14. Watch the change of Guard @ Indo-Pak border 15. Try pushing the Krishna’s butter ball at Mahabalipuram 16. Walk thru the clouds at Cherrapunji 17. Smell the tulips in Kashmir 18. Snorkelling 19. Watch Coral Reefs 20. Walk the Strip, Las Vegas 21. Visit the Kumbh Mela 22. Trek to the Manasarovar 23. Watch the Kanchenjunga turn golden at Sunrise 24. Experience the luxury of a Cruise 25. Travel in a Limosine 26. Drive a Ferrari 27. Desert Safari 28. Visit the Chilka Lake
