“Finding yourself” is not really how it works.
You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket.
You are also not lost.
Your true self is right there,
buried under cultural conditioning,
other people’s opinions, and
inaccurate conclusions
you drew as a kid
that became your beliefs
about who you are.
“finding yourself”is actually
returning to yourself.
An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering
who you were before the world got
its hands on you.” ― Emily McDowell
How true !
I came across this amazing quote by the author Emily McDowell recently and it instantly resonated with me. Many life situations and faces of people from the past flashed across my mind in a jiffy.
As I grew up I realised that I took the lessons taught in fourth grade Moral Science too seriously. In my teenage years, for several years I used to see the world as black or white i.e either someone was good or bad. It took me time to realize and accept that in the real world, between the absolute black and the white there were varying shades of grey and that did not make a person bad. In fact we all have our own flaws and that should not make us villains. As much as the value system is important in building our character, it is also prudent that as we grow up we calibrate these values to thrive in the contemporary world. While some values are non-negotiable, others can be bend to provide some wriggle room.
In the world around us, we have largely seen the ill effects of social conditioning. Very few parents understand the power of conditioning on a young mind and fewer still know how to use it effectively to raise an individual with high self esteem and good self-image. We all struggle to put together the pieces of our broken self-image to construct a whole self. In the process we unlearn the inaccurate conclusions we drew about ourselves and our capabilities. At times it takes a good friend or mentor to help us in this process. Nevertheless, it is a journey of self discovery and essential in finding our true self.
What kind of experiences can you remember that you attribute to social conditioning in your own life?
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