Tag: Happiness

Posted in Life Gyan

No One Can Hurt You Without Your Consent

Posted on by Anand Surana

On the first day as President…  Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, while just on the set, one man stood up. He was a rich Aristocrat…. 

He said, “Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family” And the whole Senate burst out laughing; for they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.

But Lincoln was a man of totally different mettle than them, as he just looked at the man, and said humbly, ” Sir, I know my father used to make shoes for you and your family, and there are many others here too I am sure, for whom he has made shoes….But I must say one thing, the way he made shoes….; nobody else could match. He was a genuine artisan; His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole heart and soul in it….and hence, I would like to humbly ask you sir….do you have any complaint? because I also know how to make shoes myself….and if you are in any way dissatisfied, I can make another pair for  you as a service for my late father. But as far as I know”, Lincoln added confidently, “nobody has ever complained about my father’s shoes. He was a real genius in his line of work, a great creator….and I must indeed thank you, for reminding me of him on this day, for I am very fondly proud of my father.”

The whole Senate was dumb struck. They could not understand, as to what kind of a man Abraham Lincoln was. The humility about himself and the pride for his father, through quality of his work…..to say that not a single complaint had ever been heard….he also defined his own character, as well as his personal mettle.

Moral of the story :
No one can hurt you without your consent.
It is not what happens to us, that hurts us.
It’s how we react to what happens, hurts…….if we allow it to…..!!!

Posted in Life Gyan

How to Find “What I Really Want?”

Posted on by Anand Surana

If you haven’t read the first part of this post “What Do We Want From Life?” I would recommend you go through it first before reading this post any further. 

Finding what you want from life is a very personal journey which will require a lot of honesty and a little bit of courage to accept yourself the way you really are and the  involvement of your heart and mind – all at the same time. Once you pose the question (What do I want from my life?) to yourself with the serious intent of finding the answer, your mind (both conscious and sub-conscious) will get engaged. 

Our mind is a big storehouse of all our desires, emotions, things that our parents, friends, family members, teachers etc may have told us over the years. All these hidden emotions below the surface keep playing with our mind when we want to take any decision. And you will notice that at time we experience a lot of chatter in the mind pulling us into different directions. That is because of lack of clarity of what we want.

At the outset, the mind will start giving you many options of what you want from life. These options may be based on what others may have told you or expect from you. So how to find out if the options that your mind is throwing at you are the real answers? There may be different ways to ascertain that but the one that works for most is writing down the answer and then writing down the “Why?” – the reasons why you want it? Just keep writing all the big and small reasons that come to your mind till you have emptied all your thoughts about this answer. 

Repeat this process with the other answers that come to your mind. 
This may not happen in one sitting. The time taken will vary from one person to another depending on your desire, the fire in your belly to really uncover the answer. But the key is to remain persistent and determined to take it to conclusion. And I assure you it will be worth the effort. And remember the journey is as important as the destination as that is where the transformation is actually happening.

Review the answers you have written and the reasons – some of them will start resonating with you while you will be able to discard the others. It is ok to filter out more than one answer to “what you want from life” as you may want to express yourself, your talents in multiple fields. For example, on one hand you may want to be successful in your career and on the other hand you may want to do something meaningful for the under-privileged. On one side you may strive to be the best parent and at the same time you may want to give wings to your own creative pursuits. I have come across many talented people who are achievers in more than one field in life. 

Eventually by this process of looking at the various desires and options and reviewing them by being true to your own self, you will arrive at the answers in a few iterations. 

Posted in Life Gyan

What Do We Want From Life?

Posted on by Anand Surana

Here is something really worth pondering over. The honest answer to this one question can change the direction of your life, can create a new meaning and may even give you an entirely new perspective towards life, goals, happiness and finding satisfaction. Ask yourself,

“What do I want from my life?”

While some may say Success, Wealth, Fame, Love, Happiness – answering this for oneself requires a little more thought and a peek at one’s innermost desires. The key think to remember is that you need not share the answer with anyone else – is to for your own sake that you must answer this question.

It is certainly not an easy one to answer and at the first attempt you may be tempted to say “I don’t know”. While that is perfectly normal, don’t stop there. Be persistent. Find the answer or create one for yourself.

The question remains relevant no matter at what stage in life you are at. You may be a student, working professional, artist, entrepreneur or housewife – think about what you want from life. A lot of times not knowing what we want, is the source of unhappiness and restlessness, as we perpetually keep looking for a better job, more wealth, bigger house etc. That is what is called the rat race. 

Once you are able to arrive at the answer to this question, you will no longer be in the blind rat race. You will go after your goals, your passion with a sense of purpose and a new kind of enthusiasm. It will give a new clarity to your thoughts and actions. You will feel transformed. A version 2.0 of yourself. A lot of your old dilemmas and debates that occupied your mind so far will automatically disappear. Your interactions with people will become better. All of this because of the clarity of thought you now have.  So go ahead and spend some time in solitude. 

Do yourself a favour – find the answer to what you really want from life. After all it is just one life that you have. Make it count.

If you are interested in knowing a practical approach to “How to Find What I Really Want?” click here.

“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic; true power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you; breathe and allow things to pass.”

Words Have Power

Quote• Posted on by Anand Surana
Posted in Life Gyan

14 Nuggets of Wisdom for Those Over 40

Posted on by Anand Surana

Forty (40) is a strange number when referred in context to age. While for some “Life begins at forty” whereas for some forty is a psychological milestone, a alarm bell of sorts to get your act together, a reminder of our mortality and probably for the most of us, a realization that we are at the halfway mark on the journey called life. 

Sharing some nuggets of wisdom that may help if you are over 40 –

  1. After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my friends, now I have started loving myself.
  2. I just realised that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.
  3. I now stopped bargaining with vegetables and fruits vendors.  After all, a few rupees more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.
  4. I pay the taxi driver without waiting for the change. The extra money might bring a smile on his face. After all he is toiling much harder for a living than me
  5. I stopped telling the elderly that they’ve already narrated that story many times. After all, the story makes them walk down the memory lane and relieve the past.
  6. I’ve learnt not to correct people even when I know they are wrong.  After all, the onus of making everyone perfect is not on me.  Peace is more precious than perfection.
  7. I give compliments freely and generously. After all it’s a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me.
  8. I’ve learnt not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt.  After all, personality speaks louder than appearances.  
  9. I walk away from people who don’t value me. After all, they might not know my worth, but I do.
  10. I remain cool when someone plays dirty politics to outrun me in the rat race.  After all, I am not a rat and neither am I in any race.
  11. I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. After all, it’s my emotions that make me human.
  12. I have learnt that its better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. After all, my ego will keep me aloof whereas with relationships I will never be alone.
  13. I’ve learnt to live each day as if it’s the last. After all, it might be the last.
  14. I am doing what makes me happy.  After all, I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to me…..
Posted in Fun & Humour

Letter From My 3 Months Old Son to My Sister

Posted on by Anand Surana

Dear Bhua,
Hope you and Phumphosa are keeping good health and enjoying your life in Delhi I am fine here and having a good time with papa and mummy.
You will be happy to know that I have grown a little taller but haven’t let myself become fat like papa-mummy. You know I always want to be in shape. Don’t mind but I will not like to be as fat as you.

I have made some new friends all around the house. In papa-mummy’s bedroom where I spend most of my time, I have made so many friends. On the eastern wall there is a baby playing in roses. Oh yes ! I had to change the pen because the other one was giving problems. Nowadays they don’t make things of good quality it seems. I guess the scenario is worse in Delhi – How do you manage?

Anyway I was telling you about my friends. There is another one, a nice baby, so much like me, lying on the weighing scale. Then the musical stuff toy which you gifted me has also become my good friend. He often sings to me and I like it very much.

But most favourite of my best friends is the ceiling fan. I can watch it for hours and he keeps me engaged whether he is moving or still. I talk to him loudly and then papa-mummy feel so happy. I guess they also like my friends.

In the drawing room there is a boy in dhoti which my Dada has sent. He taught me to suck my two fingers so whenever I am hungry I start sucking my fingers. My parents have a tough time removing my hand from my mouth but I enjoy it a lot so I just ignore them and continue sucking my fingers. 

Yes, the ceiling fan of the hall is also my good friend. Sometimes I watch TV when I am in the hall but the moment my parents come to know that I am watching TV they either put me at some other place or switch off the TV. 

Let me tell you something very interesting I am very fond of playing at night, where is my parents want to sleep at night but since I am awake either one or both of them have to be awake with me. They scold me everyday for staying up so late but the moment I smile at them they forget all scoldings and hug me. 

I have started saying “mum…mee” and whenever I say so mummy become so happy. She wants me to say again and again but then I know how to keep my importance so I also do not say it again. I am telling you all this in good faith you should not share all this with my parents. 
One day papa mummy took a lot of snaps of me and send it to all the family members but the next day Dada called up and scolded papa. Since then he has not dared to take another snap.

I love both papa and mummy. While mummy takes good care of me whole day and at night also because papa sleeps saying he has to go to office next day – I wonder what is so exciting at office that he goes there everyday – even on weekends. 

Papa also loves to spend time with me. I generally wake up when he returns from office and then I give him the opportunity to spend time with me. 

Nowadays the weather is very pleasant and it rains every day. I want to enjoy the weather but my parents force me to wear warm clothes and always have the blanket on. But the moment they put the blanket I throw it away with my legs. 

That was a lot about me you tell me about yourself. Hope you are taking good care of Phumphosa. I am waiting for your Rakhi and papa-mummy also. They have got a gift cheque for you (lucky you !) but had to take it in Phumphosa’s name as you might not be having account in your married name. 

Ok now I want to sleep and I am feeling a little hungry also and I can see mummy coming to feed me. So bye and keep writing.

Lots and lots of love,
Dhruv

Posted in Life Gyan

Build Relationships, Not Just Contacts

Posted on by Anand Surana

In the material world where we focus on goals like financial growth, better health, professional growth and success, let’s also add one for our relationships.

The year was 1990.  I was returning from Delhi by flight with a monk of the RamaKrishna Mission. A  journalist from Chile was there with us . He started interviewing  the monk, as had been decided earlier.

Journalist – Dear Sir , in your last lecture, you  told about Jogajog (contact) &  Sanjog (connection ). It’s really confusing. Can you explain it to me ?

The Monk smiled a little but apparently deviating from the question,  he asked the journalist: Are you from Chile ?

Journalist( J ) – Yeh…

Monk ( M ) – Who are there at home ?

The Journalist felt that the  Monk was trying to avoid answering his question since  this was a very personal and unwarranted question. Yet the  journalist  said: “Mother has expired. Father is there. Three brothers and one sister. All are married…”

The Monk, a smile on his  face, asked next: – “Do you talk to your father?” Now the  journalist looked visibly annoyed…

The Monk  – “When did you talk to him last?”

The journalist suppressing his annoyance said:  “May be a month back.”

The Monk:  “Do you brothers and sisters meet often ? When did you last meet as a family together?”

At this point, I saw  sweat on the journalist’s  fore head. I wondered who was taking whose interview. It seemed that the Monk was taking the interview of the journalist.

With a sigh , the journalist said: “We met last at Christmas two  years ago.”

The Monk: ” How many days did you all stay together ?”

The journalist ( wiping the sweat on his brow) : “Three days…”

Monk: “How much time did you  spend with your Father, sitting right  beside him ?”

I saw the journalist looking  perplexed and embarrassed and scribbling something on a paper…

The Monk:  “Did you have breakfast or lunch or dinner together ? Did you ask how he was? Did you ask how his days are passing after your mother’s death ?”

I saw the journalist’s eyes sadden.

The Monk placed his hand on the journalist’s hand and said: “don’t be embrassed or upset or sad. I am sorry if I have hurt you unknowingly… But this is basically the answer to your question about “contact and connection ( jogajog and Sanjog)”.  You have ‘contact’  with your father but you don’t have ‘connection’ with him. You are not connected to him.

Connection is between heart and heart… sitting together , sharing meals , caring for & hugging each other. Touch , shaking hands, having eye contact,  spending some time together…Your  brothers and sisters have ‘contact’ with each  but you have no  ‘connection’ with each other….”

The journalist wiped his eyes and said : “Thanks for teaching me a fine and unforgettable lesson”

This is the reality today. Whether at home, in society and elsewhere everybody has lots and lots of contacts but there is no connection. No communication…   . Everybody is in a his or her own world.
Let’s not be well “contacted” – let’s be well “connected”,  with each other …… caring , sharing , touching , hugging , spending time together with all  our near and dear ones, and other co-passengers in our life travels.

Posted in Life Gyan

The New 10 Commandments of Life

Posted on by Anand Surana

How we lead our lives depends a lot on perspective. Two people looking at the same situation interpret it differently depending on their outlook for life. Read the below 10 Commandments and reflect back on your life and you outlook. These may give you a different perspective.

1) Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. That is attitude.

2) When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish. Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone!

3) Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it’s not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.

4) Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them, Wall or Bridge?  Remember you are the architect of your life.

5) Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried. That’s life.

6) It is not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it’s important how well you play with the cards which you hold.

7) Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, `Relax dear it’s just a bend. Not the end’. Have Faith and have a successful life.

8) When you are sad, try to cheer up – just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit b’coz liars go to hell.

9) One of the basic  differences between God and human is, God gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life!

10) Only two types of persons are happy in this world. First is Mad and second is Child. Be Mad to achieve what you desire and be a Child to enjoy what you have achieved.