Author: Anand Surana

I am a software consultant by profession and reside in Hyderabad, India. I love to travel, listen to music, cook and make friends.
Posted in Life Gyan

Don’t Confuse Lifestyle with Life !

Posted on by Anand Surana

I came across this story a few years ago and the lesson has stayed with me over the years. A few days ago something reminded me of this story and I decided to share this with everyone for the sheer simplicity and the powerful message it carries.

A group of alumni, who were very successful in their careers, decided to get together to visit their old university professor. After they all reunited, the conversation of the alumni soon turned into complaints about work, relationships and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all of his old students had a cup of coffee in hand, they sat down together and the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is, of course normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that can also be the source of much of your dissatisfaction, problems and stress.

It’s important to know that the cup itself adds no real quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just chosen because its perceived to be more special or expensive. What all of you really wanted was experience of the coffee, not the cup, but you unconsciously went for the best cups. Some of you tried to get the best cup first or began eyeing each other’s cups to see if yours was nice enough.

Now consider this: Life is a bit like the cup of coffee; the jobs, money possessions and position in society are the cups. They are just tools and structures that contain or hold together the current story of your life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee.

Here is my advice to you – Savour the coffee, not the cups! What you really want is to be happy. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

Posted in Life Gyan

20 Things People Learn Too Late

Posted on by Anand Surana

1. Don’t tell people more than they need to know, respect your privacy.

2. Every challenge, hard time, and pain you endure will turn into strength, resilience and blessings.

3. Don’t argue with people who want to misunderstand you – Starve them with silence.

4. Life is short, don’t forget to make a life and not just a living.

5. You don’t need to explain yourself or get anyone’s approval to live your life.

6. Keep your standards high and  don’t settle for something because it’s available.

7. Boundaries are your responsibility, you decide what is and what isn’t allowed in your life.

8. You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.

9. Never expect to get back what you give or you will always be disappointed.

10. Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from and don’t let someone who has done nothing, tell you how to do anything.

11. If you keep waiting for the “right time” you will keep wasting all of your time.

12. Don’t let people trigger you. Control your reaction and leave them powerless.

13. Stop expecting loyalty from people who can’t give you honesty.

14. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be.

15. Life doesn’t always give us the experiences we want, it gives us the experiences we need to learn and grow.

16. The best revenge is no revenge. Improve yourself and forget they exist.

17. The people who belong in your life want to be there, they don’t need to be chased.

18. It takes time to build trust but only seconds to lose.

19. No one is going to come and save you because You are perfectly capable of Saving Yourself.

20. Don’t judge people and their choices when you don’t understand their reasons.

Posted in Life Gyan

Mindful Consumption

Posted on by Anand Surana

While we enjoy the good things in life, we also need to keep in mind that not everyone is equally fortunate and there are lots of people who struggle to make their ends meet. There is still a huge section of population on earth who do not have access to basic facilities like clean drinking water, education, proper health care, electricity etc.

While we do things that are within our power to make things better for these people either directly or by joining hands with some NGO there is one thing that we all can do right away – cultivating an attitude of mindful consumption. Mindful consumption means using the earth’s finite resources in a responsible manner, reduce consumption where possible, eliminate wastage and reduce your carbon footprint.

To make it easy here are a few examples to get you started.

1. Do I really need the water that is being poured in my glass at the restaurant?

Will that water not go down the drain (literally) when I leave my table? Am I being fair to those who are walking miles for drinking water and yet what they get is hardly safe enough to consume?

2. Do I really need to wrap that gift by buying ‘free’ gift wrapping paper?

Because that shiny/ non-biodegradable paper is going to be trashed (literally) once the gift is opened?

3. Do I really need to buy gifts when I am not sure if they will be used and needed by the receiver because I want to look good?

Isn’t it wiser to buy fruits or dry-fruits with the same amount of money and with almost certainty that they will be consumed?

4. What do I do when I am at buffet?

Do I listen to my stomach or do I fill my plate with everything available (either because its free or because I have paid for it all)?

5. What do I do when the guy at Subway (the foodchain) offers me two forks and four tissue papers when I am going to be eating alone?

Do I return one fork and three tissue papers (or all four, if I carry my own hanky) to him or I just walk away from the counter and throw away unused forks and tissue papers?

6. Just because something is ‘bio-degradable’, should I use it?

Can I even avoid a paper bag or a cloth bag because a tree was chopped to make that paper and earth was subjected to atrocities to create the piece of cloth? Can I ‘reduce’ my consumption even before thinking of ‘reuse’ or ‘recycle’?

7. What happens when I go to eat Thaali ?

There are so many things I know I might not eat (for eg katori of Dahi or that mithai) .. Do I return it immediately so that it can be offered to someone else or do I let it sit on my plate and leave it untouched only to be thrown away later?

8. Do I really need that cotton Kurti because it looks cool?

The fashion industry is far more evil than what meets our eye. From what it does to the environment while growing cotton and jute to how it treats humans to how it treats textiles and garment waste is mind-bogglingly dirty.

9. Do I really need that extra pair of shoes because I don’t have ‘that’ particular shade of orange?

Do I take into account that once processed, footwear is almost impossible to degenerate on face of the earth (including leather)?

10. Do I need to cook elaborate meals when guests visit me?

Can I cook just enough so that everybody including myself can have a great time and no food is wasted (or we don’t continue to eat same food for next three days well after it has lost all its nutrients)

11. Do I need to buy things just because they are in sale and they are cheaper?

Do I need to buy them because there is ‘return policy’? I was reading a case study on how big retail conglomerates dump returned goods in the ocean and its unbelievable how our oceans are constantly being subjected to waste created because of our greed.

12. Am I respectful when I am visiting a tourist destination?

Do I take rules such as ‘keep silence’, ‘do not litter’ seriously enough?
Do I allow the place to consume me or my overbearing presence consumes the place?

13. Do I switch off the appliances not in use – extra lights, fans, AC units, hot water geysers etc?

We switch off many appliances using the remote but leave the power switch on for long duration such as TV and AC units. Even in the switched off state they consume miniscule amount of electricity which adds up to a considerable amount in the long run. Let’s be mindful of that and switch it off from the power source.

I urge you to start asking these questions to yourself and educate your family members too. It takes a huge amount of energy and other earth’s resources to prepare the finished goods that we are consuming so mindlessly day-in and day-out.

Each aware person can make a difference ! Spread the awareness !

Posted in Life Gyan

Demystifying “Play to Your Strengths”

Posted on by Anand Surana

When an individual sets a sight on any goal, his thoughts eventually reach a point where the question staring him in the face is “How do I reach there?”.  If the goal is really challenging and ambitious, the person tries to check if there is a roadmap to get there. He may seek advise from his manager(s), mentors or even trainers. In such scenarios it is usually beneficial to carry out a SWOT (Strengths, Weakness, Opportunities, Threats) analysis.

SWOT Analysis is a good starting point to understand where you are. It is like a the homing dot on GPS which can indicate your current position on the capability landscape. This you can use to chart a path to achieve your coveted goals. Using both your Goals as destination and SWOT analysts as your starting point, you can figure out the gap between where you are where you want to go. Knowing this gap is the first part to figuring our the roadmap to your goals.

People often underestimate the benefit of the SWOT analysis. Most often people glance at the strengths section, feel good about themselves momentarily and then move on to the other sections. After a quick glance through the Weakness, Opportunities and Threat sections, most often people conclude that the “weakness” section seems to be the only place where you can do something because both Opportunities and Threats are usually external and you may not be able to influence them.

So most people try and device strategies to improve on their  Weakness. Also for a very long time we have been told to focus on improving our weak areas to be successful in life. Often in a corporate setup, when we request for or receive feedback the emphasis is more on the “areas of improvement” rather than what you are good at. However each of the 4 sections of SWOT analysis are important. Sometimes you may need help of a coach or mentor to help you understand how to apply these for your specific situation.

Playing to your Strengths
Especially for the experienced folks, I want to draw your attention to your strengths. While you continue to put effort towards improving on your weak areas, you need to pay a greater attention to the strengths you already possess. By correctly recognizing your strengths and honing them you can improve your chances of success many fold.  That is why you often hear the phrase, “play to your strengths”. However this phrase has become so cliched that no one ever takes time to understand what it really means and why is it so important.

“To play to your strengths” means –
# Identify your top strengths (competencies that you are really good at)
# Find out ways to leverage them for maximum growth
# Also you may be able to uncover ways to use your strengths to over come your weakness

How do you find out what your strengths are ?
Though you may know some of your strengths but a majority of the people only have a vague understanding of their overall strengths. Some people know they are very organized, while others may be good with getting things done. Some ace at relationships and others may be creative or problem solvers. Even though you may know one or two of your strengths you are still missing the 360 degree view of all your strengths, some of which may not be very obvious.

So how do we find out all our strengths?
There are many tools available to help you carry out this evaluation in a more scientific manner such as MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), DiSC, Gallup Strength Assessment etc. I have tried multiple such tests and while all have some merits but in my humble opinion the type of insights provided by Gallup Strength Finder Report are really unique and usable. This is a paid assessment. However it is not very expensive. You can consider this as an investment into you self-improvement journey. On the Gallup Site there are 2 versions –
(1) Top 5 Clifton Strengths and
(2) CliftonStrengths 34.
My recommendation would be to take the CliftonStrengths 34 to get a detailed report of your 34 personality attributes in the order of dominance.

What do we do once we have the identified the strengths?
First, spend some time to read and understand the report.
# Underline the lines which resonate with you.
# Identify habits or traits of your personality which correspond to these strengths.
# Write down the opportunities where you can best utilize your strengths
# Ask yourself – How can I use these strengths to achieve my goals?

With some serious brain storming, you will start getting the answers. And once you know what you are good at, your self confidence will get an immediate boost. And the icing on the cake is that unlike working on your weaknesses you don’t have to go through a painful process of change. Your strengths are already inherent within you. All you need to do is to identify them and start using them consciously. And find ways to leverage them for achieving your goals.

Posted in Fun & Humour

Two Liners & Some Pun…

Posted on by Anand Surana

Brevity is the Soul of Wit. Enjoy these fresh two-liners with some genuine observations –

The difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
It dissolves marriages, families and careers.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
A tax is a fine for doing well.

Archaeologist:
Someone whose career lies in ruins.

There are two kinds of people who don’t say much:
Those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

They say that alcohol kills slowly.
So what? Who’s in a hurry?

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix.
Never drink and derive

One nice thing about egotists:
They don’t talk about other people.

And now for some Brilliant Puns…

A man who wants a pretty nurse, must be patient.

A man who leaps off a cliff, jumps to a conclusion.

A man running in front of a car, gets tyred; And a man running behind a car, gets exhausted.

War does not determine who is right. It determines who is left.

A man who drives like hell, is bound to get there.

A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger wood!

Toilets are a great place to think. No wonder they are called “Sochalayas”..

Posted in Life Gyan

How “ME” Time Can Be A Game Changer?

Posted on by Anand Surana

Our lives have become so hectic and fast-paced that by the time we are done dealing with the routine stuff of life like family, job, kids, daily chores, social commitments it is almost time to hit the bed and we realize that one more day has passed by. The next morning it is the same grind all over again. In all this madness we all need some “ME” time daily. It is the time you spend talking with yourself, sifting thru your thoughts, looking back on the events of the day and planning for the future. 

This is the time where you talk with yourself, debate about issues, fine tune your perception and sometimes make new resolutions. You sift and churn your thoughts and un-clutter your mind in the process. The “ME” time is important because it helps us to recalibrate our focus on the most important things and reconnect with ourselves. It is required to maintain sanity.

Swami Vivekanand once said, ” Talk to yourself once in a day otherwise you may miss meeting an Excellent person in this world.” 

Sometimes people fail to recognize the importance of this time spent with the self. Most of the great stuff, your Eureka moments happen during this time. This is the time when your sub-conscious presents the solutions to the problems it has been working in the background. Your personal growth happens during this time.

Robin Sharma states that “The science behind the rewards of solitude are pretty phenomenal… making time to be alone actually shuts down the part of the brain responsible for self-criticism, firing up the part of your brain that contains your natural state of genius. “

Robin Sharma further states that when you spend time with self – whether it is during your morning walk or in the quite room of your home your brain waves slow down from beta to alpha. When this happens-amid solitude-the part of your brain responsible for self-criticism, mental chatter and constant worry shuts down. With your monkey mind on a little vacation, you enter the Flow State. Elite athletes know this as “the zone” and it’s the place where all great performance begins. It is in this state that you get your best ideas. Your creativity makes explosive gains. You begin to see around corners.

And guess what – this is your natural state that God has given to everyone. Available to you daily.
Most people don’t know they have it. And not many create the conditions to experience it.   

You can…by going to solitude. Consistently.

Posted in Life Gyan

We Live in Our Minds

Posted on by Anand Surana

“We don’t live in bungalows, duplexes, or flats. We live in our minds.” says Dr. Sandeep Atre, who is a Counseling Psychologist and an internationally recognized ‘Emotional & Social Intelligence’ Expert.

He further states that, “that’s our permanent residence. And there are no constraints of square feet there. It’s a vast space with unlimited area. And you know what! No matter how well organized your rooms, balconies, garages and veranda’s are, life is good only when things are sorted there- in your mind.

And that’s where we keep things messy- regrets piling up in one corner, expectations stuffed in a closet, secrets under carpet, worries littered everywhere, comparisons split on the table, complexes leaking from an old bottle and grudges stinking in a box.

Be aware. For this “real home” of yours, you can’t outsource housekeeping. You got to do it yourself.“

Learn to forgive, forget and move on. Even if you were right, do you want to carry the rotten stench of a fight? Meditate to further clear and declutter your head.

And do remember to keep on renovating and improving your house (“the mind”) by reading, learning new things and keeping yourself updated.

A sound mind means a sound life.
With a clean and healthy mind – anything is possible.

Posted in Life Gyan

And We Grew Up…

Posted on by Anand Surana

We all enjoy looking back at the fond memories of our childhood when the simple things would give us so much joy. There was no pressure or timelines to meet. Life was so much simple and we say to ourselves – “those were the golden days”. Here are a few lines I read somewhere which capture many such moments to look back in our own lives and immerse ourselves in a feeling of nostalgia.

Somewhere between “Crying loudly to seek attention” and “Crying silently to avoid attention”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “ 7 pani puris for 1 rupee” and “1 pani puri for 7 rupees”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Ground mai aaja” and “Online aaja”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Craving for pizza” and “Craving for home food”, we grew up!

Somewhere between “Believing in happy endings” and “Accepting the reality”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “stealing eclairs of your sis” and “Bringing Silk for her”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Just five more mins Mom” and “Pressing the snooze button”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Broken Pencils” and “Broken Hearts”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Crying out loud just to get what we want” and “Holding our tears when we are broken inside”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “We are Best Friends Forever” and “Knowing that nothing truly lasts”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “I want to grow up” and “I want to be a child again”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Lets meet and plan” and “Lets plan and meet”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Eagerly waiting” and “Forever waiting”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Parents fulfilling our wish” and “We Fulfilling our parent’s dream”, we grew up!!

Somewhere between “Waking up at 6 am” and “Sleeping at 6 am”, we grew up!!

And as we grew up, we realized how, silently but surely ,our lives have changed…!!

Posted in Life Gyan

5 Easy Steps to Save The Environment

Posted on by Anand Surana

When the discussion is about environmental issues, most of the people are very concerned about how as a society we are depleting our natural resources and destroying the environment in the name of unbridled development. People are prompt to point out global warming and its impact, deforestation, contamination of our water bodies and so on. Yet often we fail to steer this discussion towards what difference we individuals can make to change the situation rather than expecting UNO & governments to address these global issues.

Now we are getting into the zone which most people like to steer clear away from – making changes to the way we live. Who wants to take so much headache to identify environmental friendly options and replace our daily convenience. But let me tell you that I am not asking for any sacrifices from you. Contrary to this, I want to share a few things you can do without any inconvenience to your existing lifestyle. All it requires is a little awareness and your willingness.

Let’s jump straight into the few things we can do, which if done by every individual, can collectively make a big difference.

  1. Grow a plant in the house. Add one to your office desk too if possible. It will add a dash of green o your desk and make it a look more vibrant.
  2. Carry a grocery bag (preferably a cloth bag) when you are going for shopping. In fact I keep a bunch of them in my car so that even in case of any unplanned need I can quickly get one from my car in the parking.
  3. Switch off your laptop/desktop when not in use. Similarly after switching off the TV screen, also switch off the supply from the mains. Ditto for any other devices plugged in and not being used at night like Alexa. Collectively all these devices consume a little amount of energy continuously even when not in use.
  4. Turn off running water when brushing and/or shaving. It may seem trivial but it can save gallons of water every day and the energy required to pump the same to your water tank and so on. Let’s look at the water in our home as a resource rather than taking it for granted – not everyone has 24×7 running water in their homes.
  5. Few other things that you could do are –
    • stop using plastic straws
    • Switch to wooden toothbrushes
    • add water saver nozzles to the taps in the house
    • walk/cycle instead of taking a car/bike for shorter distances when possible

I am sure even you may be practicing some such good habits. I encourage you to share these little hacks with fellow humans so that together we can all encourage each other and adapt a more sustainable lifestyle.

Posted in Life Gyan

Unspoken Social Rules

Posted on by Anand Surana

According to the Dr. Saul McLeod , who has been teaching psychology for over 17 years, “Social rules or norms are the unwritten rules of beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors that are considered acceptable in a particular social group or culture. Norms provide us with an expected idea of how to behave…For example, we expect students to arrive to a lesson on time and complete their work.”

Social norms have existed from the time humans first started to live together in small. And the the norms evolve as the humans evolved into more sophisticated communities and societies. And it may be interesting to notice that the norms vary depending on geographies, social status, religious beliefs and so on. However, there is another side of the coin too. We also observe that there are many such unspoken social rules which are commonly accepted by a large majority of the people across the globe barring exceptions.

Time also plays a key role in influencing the social norms. If you look back in time, you will notice, many social behaviours which are common now were actually taboo a few years ago. So here is a list of a few contemporary social norms which you may find useful –

1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;

2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person from whom you borrowed remembers or asks for it. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and books.

3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you a lunch/dinner.

4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don’t you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;

5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;

6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;

7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what’s 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, second opinion is good for an alternative;

8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;

9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again;

10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.

11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately;

12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;

13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;

14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctors’ appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say “I hope you’re okay”. Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they’ll do so without your inquisitiveness;

15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;

16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;

17. Never give advice until you’re asked;

18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;

19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly – just stay out of it;

20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. More so, eye contact is as important as your speech; and

21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don’t talk about your children in the midst of the barren.

And last but not the least, APPRECIATION and GRATITUDE remain the easiest way of getting what you don’t have….