According to psychologists, there are four types of intelligence:
1) Intelligence Quotient (IQ)
2) Emotional Quotient (EQ)
3) Social Quotient (SQ)
4) Adversity Quotient (AQ)
1. Intelligence Quotient (IQ): this is the measure of your comprehension ability, solve maths; memorize things and recall subject matters.
2. Emotional Quotient (EQ): this is the measure of your ability to maintain peace with others; keep to time; be responsible; be honest; respect boundaries; be humble, genuine and considerate.
3. Social Quotient (SQ): This is the measure of your ability to build a network of friends and maintain it over a long period of time.
People that have higher EQ and SQ tend to go farther in life than those with high IQ but low EQ and SQ. Most schools capitalize in improving IQ level while EQ and SQ are played down.
A man of high IQ can end up being employed by a man of high EQ and SQ even though he has an average IQ.
Your EQ represents your character; your SQ represents your charisma. Give in to habits that will improve these three Qs but more especially your EQ and SQ.
EQ and SQ make one manage better than the other.
It is advisable to teach children not only to have higher IQ , but also focus on having higher EQ and SQ.
Now let us look at AQ – a new paradigm, coined in 1997 by Stolz.
4. The Adversity Quotient (AQ): The measure of your ability to go through a rough patch in life and come out without losing your mind. AQ determines who will give up in face of troubles, who will abandon their families or may even consider suicide.
Parents please do endeavour to expose children to other areas of life than academic. They should adore manual work, sports and arts. Develop their EQ, SQ and AQ so that they become multifaceted human beings able to do things independently.
Finally, do not prepare the road for the children. Prepare the children for the road.
When You Feel Lost…
These are unprecedented times and it is natural to feel a bit anxious and a little lost at times due to so much negativity all around. Most of us feel concerned about what the future holds, how it will unfold and will we even make it to the future safely. A lot of people are going through this emotional turmoil however it is important that we look at the current situation objectively and not get carried away by it.
I am sharing a few quotes for you to ponder – these will probably help you look at things differently and help you feel better in these difficult times –
- Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come.
- Sometimes the bad things that happen to us, lead us directly to the path that will give us the best things in life.
- If you don’t like where you are, move. You’re not a tree.
- You can’t start the next chapter if you keep re-reading the last one
- If it doesn’t open, it is not your door.
- Sometimes you need to step out, get some air and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be
- Sometimes you need to talk to a three year old so you can understand life again
- Listen and Silent are spelled with the same letters. Think about it.
- Sometimes, you have to stop thinking so much and just go where your heart takes you
- You don’t have to have it all figured out to move forward
- Never stop believing because miracles happen everyday
Lockdown Memories
- These are the things that you may remember someday about the lockdown.
- Today is Sunday, 3rd May, 2020.
- We are at Day 40 of social isolation.
- Anybody who is alive today has never seen anything of this scale ever in their lives.
- Almost all big organisations have a Business Continuity Plan but none would have planned for a disruption of this scale
- Schools, Colleges, Offices, Markets, Industries, Malls, Restaurants, Cinema halls are all closed
- Flights, Trains, Buses, Uber, Ola are not operating
- In many towns and cities all delivery services like Swiggy, Zomato, Big Basket are not permitted for fear of spreading the infection
- All maids, drivers and house-help are not allowed into the homes or apartments
- Only shops of essential items like groceries, medicine, vegetables etc are allowed to open for limited duration everyday.
- All places of worship like Temples, Churches, Mosques are closed
- Parks, beaches and other public places are not accessible to the public.
- All sports events like Olympics, IPL etc have been cancelled or Postponed across the Globe
- All religious and social gatherings have been banned.
- Funerals related gatherings are limited to immediate cohabitants and max 15-20 persons and too with Police permission
- Schools have been closed since mid March and most schools have started online classes on Zoom.
- There are floor markings outside and inside the stores to maintain appropriate distance between people.
- Only limited number of people are allowed to enter a shop and the rest have to form a queue outside. When one customer exists then one from the queue is allowed to enter the shop
- Friendly social gatherings even with neighbours or friends are not happening. Most sane folks are maintaining discipline and social hygiene.
- People are scheduling video calls to connect with friends and relatives
- There is widespread fake news on social media
- World-over there is shortage of masks, gloves, PPE kits and medical equipment like test kits, ventilators etc and most countries are having to buy it from China which miraculously has overcome this crisis and is back to business
- People are wearing masks, most places now REQUIRE that you wear them to enter! People are even making their own masks for sale or donation to medical facilities!
- Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, anti-bacterial wipes and anything Lysol or Clorox is in short supply and limited per person.
- Every city has been divided into tiny zones & an instant fine is being issued for crossing the zone without a valid reason. (Transport workers, Essential services, etc)
- IT companies have adopted a work-from-home approach and are able to run most of their operations remotely
- Small businesses and daily wagers are hard hit. Government is trying to provide food and assistance to the daily wagers, poor and needy folks
- Amidst all this the silver lining is that the pollution levels have come down drastically and nature is thriving.
- There is hardly any noise pollution and we can hear the birds chirping again.
- I have heard in news that the long standing Ozone layer holes have self healed
- At least everyone is acknowledging that probably we humans had taken too many things for granted and the pace of life was accelerating with every passing day but now this pandemic has put brakes on that mad race and everything has come to a standstill forcing people to reflect on they actions and their consequences
- Today the Lockdown 2.0 comes to completion and Lockdown 3.0 begins for next 2 weeks.
- I am not sure what the future holds for us and how the “new normal” will evolve as we try to adapt to the changed circumstances and environment. However I hope people will remember at least a few lessons from this worldwide pandemic and will adopt a more responsible and deliberate lifestyle.
- Remember life is precious & that nothing should be taken for granted. And above all let’s be grateful for where we are and what we have.
- Stay safe and healthy…!
After The Lockdown…
After the lockdown…what is the one thing that you will do differently as an individual?
It could be
– reducing the consumption of one time use plastics
– continue to help with household chores
– buy more from local vendors etc etc..
The point is – are we going to do anything different after this experience or will we be back to our older ways and that too with vengeance.
So what is it that you will change in your lifestyle?
Abilene Paradox
The Abilene Paradox refers to a situation when a group makes a collective decision that is counter to the thoughts and feelings of its individual members.
The Abilene Paradox was introduced by management thinker Jerry B. Harvey, Professor, Emeritus of Management at The George Washington University, in an article on the subject.
It occurs because human beings have a natural aversion to going against the feelings of a group – they want to conform socially. According to Harvey, the paradox may be driven because individuals believe they will experience negative attitudes or feelings if they ‘speak up’ on a topic. And if no one ‘speaks-up‘ then the group ends up making a decision that is quite opposite to the wishes and feelings of the group.
The below example illustrates this concept beautifully –
“On a hot afternoon visiting in Coleman, Texas, the family is comfortably playing dominoes on a porch, until the father-in-law suggests that they take a trip to Abilene [53 miles north] for dinner.
The wife says, “Sounds like a great idea.”
The husband, despite having reservations because the drive is long and hot, thinks that his preferences must be out-of-step with the group and says, “Sounds good to me. I just hope your mother wants to go.”
The mother-in-law then says, “Of course I want to go. I haven’t been to Abilene in a long time.”
The drive is hot, dusty, and long. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is as bad as the drive. They arrive back home four hours later, exhausted.
One of them dishonestly says, “It was a great trip, wasn’t it?”
The mother-in-law says that, actually, she would rather have stayed home, but went along since the other three were so enthusiastic.
The husband says, “I wasn’t delighted to be doing what we were doing. I only went to satisfy the rest of you.”
The wife says, “I just went along to keep you happy. I would have had to be crazy to want to go out in the heat like that.”
The father-in-law then says that he only suggested it because he thought the others might be bored.
The group sits back, perplexed that they together decided to take a trip which none of them wanted. They each would have preferred to sit comfortably, but did not admit to it when they still had time to enjoy the afternoon.
In groupthink theories, the Abilene paradox theory is used to illustrate that groups not only have problems managing disagreements, but that agreements may also be a problem in a poorly functioning group.
There are three things that leaders can do to avoid their teams being a victim of Abilene Paradox –
- Create a safe environment where team members are encouraged to voice divergent opinions freely
- Expect disagreement in teams – that is the reason why diversity is encouraged in teams so that you can get different perspectives on critical issues.
- Actively listen to feedback – leaders must be willing to listen to feedback and not surround themselves with only the “yes” men
Do you want to share any of your examples?
The 99 Club
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was not happy at all. One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; Why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy?
The King asked the servant, ‘Why are you so happy?’
The man replied, ‘Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant. My family and I don’t need too much – just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies and your blessings.’
The king sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the story, the advisor said, ‘Your Majesty, the servant has not yet joined “The 99 Club”.’
‘The 99 Club? And what is that?’ the King inquired.
The advisor replied, ‘To truly know what The 99 Club is, just place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant’s doorstep.’
When the servant saw the bag, he let out a great shout of joy…so many gold coins. He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were only 99 coins. He wondered, ‘What could’ve happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!’
He looked everywhere, but that final coin was elusive. Finally he decided that he was going to work harder than ever to earn that 100th gold coin.
From that day, the servant was a changed man. He was overworked, grumpy, and blamed his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. And he had stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. The advisor said, ‘Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club.’
He continued, ‘The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never content, because they’re always wanting that extra 1, saying to themselves: “Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life.”
We can be happy with very little in our lives, but the minute we’re given something bigger and better, we want more…and even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, as the price for our growing needs and desires.
That’s “The 99 Club“…Zero Membership fee to enter, but you pay for it with your entire life !!!
Ideas to Add to Your Bucket List
Here are a few more (read my previous post on Bucket List here) experiences to add to your bucket list. Pick the ones that excite you –
1. Float in the Dead Sea
2. Sky Diving
3. Bungee Jumping
4. Visit the Nalanda University
5. Whitewater Rafting
6. Visit the Ram Setu
7. See the floating stones in Rameshwaram
8. Take a yatch ride in Dubai Creek
9. Walk on the Great Wall of China
10. Visit the Taj Mahal
11. Click the iconic pic in Maladives
12. Hot air balloon ride in Cappadocia
13. Take the Maid of the Mist ride at Niagara Falls
14. Watch the change of Guard @ Indo-Pak border
15. Try pushing the Krishna’s butter ball at Mahabalipuram
16. Walk thru the clouds at Cherrapunji
17. Smell the tulips in Kashmir
18. Snorkelling
19. Watch Coral Reefs
20. Walk the Strip, Las Vegas
21. Visit the Kumbh Mela
22. Trek to the Manasarovar
23. Watch the Kanchenjunga turn golden at Sunrise
24. Experience the luxury of a Cruise
25. Travel in a Limosine
26. Drive a Ferrari
27. Desert Safari
28. Visit the Chilka Lake
Do you have any other interesting ones to share?
Children
Poem on Children by Kahlil Gibran
I came across this poem by Kahlil Gibran on one of the social media posts and found it so very apt and timeless that I felt like sharing this with all via my Blog. When you read it, do so slowly and it will surely make you ponder and may be you will feel like reading it again and sharing it with your dear ones too. So reproducing the poem below.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
I Have Learned…
- I have learned that no matter how good you are internally, people will judge you by your looks
- I have learned that your parents are your real treasure. But the sad part is that they won’t be with you forever
- I have learned that time is best healer
- I have learned that no matter what, the only person you can truly rely upon is yourself
- I have learned that attachment hurts
- I have learned that hard work pays
- i have learned that it is not what I have in life but who I have in my life that counts
If . . .
“If—” is a poem by British Nobel laureate Rudyard Kipling, written in 1895. He wrote a number of children stories. The all time favourite “Jungle Book” was also written by Rudyard Kipling.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!